Why does he want anal?

A young female reader of dearcupid.org asks:

recently by BF has taken to asking me to have anal sex, but i really dont know what to do here?

i dont really want to, but at the same time i am a bit curious. i want to know does it really hurt? does it feel better for him? is that why he want it.im not sure but there is just something that isnt quite right for me with someone putting something “up there”i know its up to me if i say yes, but what would justify me saying no?

Shrewd observers will notice that she closes the question by appealing for reasons that will justify to herself not trying anal sex. This is a subject in itself, which deserves addressing fully at another time.

Let us instead turn our attention on the “why does he want anal?”. Many wives or girlfriends are confused and don’t understand the motivation that their partner has. This can often lead to fear and uncertainty and a reluctance to try anal which can be damaging to the relationship. Only by communicating and exploring this aspects of their partners desire can they come to understand and possibly accommodate them.

It is important to realize that whatever you may have been told, there is no single reason why a man (or woman) will want anal. There may be just one reason, or a combination of reasons.

Some of the more common reasons are:

  • They find anal sex more intimate.
  • Anal sex provides more physical stimulation, so orgasm is more likely or stronger.
  • Doing something different is mentally exciting.
  • Prefer the look of the anus or buttocks.
  • Are not aroused by vaginal sex or the vagina itself.

Rest assured, all these are all very normal and very common, though little reported. Millions of people around the world share these things in common, being a natural part of them just like any other aspect of their personality or genetic make-up.

After all, nobody is strange because they like blondes, or large breasts, so why worry if a person is attracted to the idea of anal sex? To do so would be irrational.

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