Merry Christmas! For years, we’ve been answering questions about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle and giving advice to countless people through this blog, and that’s never going to change! But, while manually migrating nearly 1,900 posts off Tumblr to the new version of this blog, it became clear that many of the same questions got answered over and over again over the years.

To prevent redundant posts going forward, we’re happy to announce a new section on this blog, accessible via the Guide link in the menu at the top of each page, Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle. Broken into a number of key topics, this page attempts to answer in detail most of the frequently asked questions about anal training, myths about anal sex, hygiene and enemas, types of lubricant, butt plug and dildo recommendations, how to have anal sex for the first time, how to have anal orgasms, how to go anal only and why one might want to do so, dating and finding new partners for an anal only relationship, and more.

More topics will be added in time, and more details will be added to pages as relevant additions come up or are recommended. If you see anything missing or that you believe is incorrect or should be amended, please feel free to send a message or leave a comment on this post and let us know.

Anonymous: I don’t have lube but I wanna practice anal play

Try using saliva, coconut oil, cocoa or shea butter, natural vaginal lubrication, etc.

Anonymous: I’m freshly 18 (so still live at home and don’t have a job yet), im also a virgin so excuse the dumb question. since I’m unable to buy proper lube could I use baby lotion?

Unscented lotion can work. Avoid soap or shampoo. Coconut oil, shea butter and similar also work. Vaginal juices and saliva are also an option.

The original poster followed up:

the lotion I have is Johnson’s any lotion with shea & cocoa butter, is this safe to use?

It should be okay, but I would suggest trying a small amount first and gently rubbing it into your anus and then waiting a few minutes to see if there’s any sort of burning sensation from it. If not, it should be good to use. At first glance it seems to just be some oil with shea and cocoa butter mixed in, so it should be fine.

anal-princess-plugged: I’ve been trying to get into regular anal sex and wearing a plug as often as possible since last November. Despite all the training I’ve done, I still get digestive issues (constipation, gas, bloating) and have to stop anal play for a while before I can comfortably get back into it. I really want to be able to always do anal and wear my plug most of the time. Any advice for helping my body adjust to regular anal sex?

I’d say to keep an eye out on whether there are any dietary factors that may effect your digestion in those ways more than others and adjust as needed to try and optimize things. A generally balanced diet with a healthy amount of dietary fiber is a good baseline for anal usually, though some may need to adjust further if they have any particular food intolerances, etc. that can cause increased gas or bloating.

You may also want to try some different types of lube—some lube can cause different reactions in different people, and if you’ve primarily stuck to a particular type, trying a few different ones might be a good idea.

Beyond that, I’d suggest not starting with the goal of plugging as often as possible right away. Instead, try it for a smaller period of time each day—maybe an hour a day for the first week?—and if you’re comfortable with that, bump it up a bit, and keep going from there. If you find a point where it starts getting uncomfortable to maintain, try sticking with a shorter length of time per day for a bit longer or split it up across the day a bit more before trying again. Your body needs time to adjust to the new change and suddenly being plugged all the time can cause things to get a bit out of whack and cause discomfort, etc.

Hope that helps a little bit or gives you some ideas to try and that with time you’ll be able to plug and have anal sex regularly!

Anonymous: One of my biggest fantasies is anal with minimal prep/consensual non consent around anal. I’ve had some success with this (no training, LOTS of lube), but I’m wondering if this is feasible in the long term. Could I be injured by doing this? Thanks so much for your blog! ?

It’s definitely possible to get to the point where you can have anal with minimal preparation and just a little bit of lube/saliva, but you need to train to that point and generally shouldn’t attempt it early on. Keep up regular anal and anal play and keep pushing yourself further with it, and you’ll find it keeps getting easier to jump into it with less warmup first.

Anonymous: First of, I love anal! I’m in the process if trying to make my hole bigger by wearing plugs regularly but everytime I put on a plug it makes me wanna go poop. Even if I have just poop!!! Please help.

Does this happen immediately after you put a plug in, or does it start after a little bit of time has passed? It’s not uncommon when first getting into long-term plug wear that it can start to be uncomfortable after a short bit of time at first, and you have to gradually ease into it, wearing it as long as you can comfortably do so, taking out, and trying again later to go longer. Over time, it will become a lot more comfortable.

However, it could be one of several other factors as well, especially if you can already enjoy anal sex without experiencing that sensation. Certain materials can either cause a reaction or have a certain texture that can give a feeling like needing to poop. Steel and glass are often the best at not doing that, as well as high quality silicone. Certain lubes could cause this as well.

Finally, you could try rubbing your clit while it’s in and see if the sensation goes away. Again, it may not be as big of a factor for you if you love anal already, but people just starting with anal stimulation often experience such sensations and need to “re-train” themselves a little bit to interpret anal stimulation as a source of sexual pleasure rather than just a sensation of needing to go to the bathroom, and so combining anal with other things you may find enjoyable like clit play can be an effective technique.

daddysprincessdiana: My husband and I used to have anal be our main kind of sex that we had. I would wear a butt plug every day, and we would only have vaginal sex if we forgot what it felt like. Then in March last year it started to hurt. Really badly. And we had to stop. Since then we’ve tried every couple of months, but it’s gotten to the point where even my smallest plug hurts. Do you know what could have caused this or what I could do to make it stop hurting? I miss anal

I’m sorry to hear that, that’s terrible. What sort of pain is it that you’re experiencing? Is it a sharp, stinging pain, a burning pain, or something else?

It could be a hemorrhoid or fissure that hasn’t fully healed or keeps getting irritated again.

It could be a sensitivity to the sort of lube you’re using or one of its ingredients, which can cause a lot of pain for some people. If you’ve tried multiple lubricants and it even hurts with natural lubrication as well, that may not be the case.

It could be a combination of factors with one primary trigger initially as well combined with falling out of the routine and things that were once easy because you were more relaxed and in the habit of doing something are hard to get back into now even if the original issue has healed.

Ultimately, I would suggest visiting a doctor about the issue to get a better understanding of what the cause is and see how you can proceed forward from there.

Anonymous: I’m looking into getting a butt plug for long term wear. What material would you recommend? I read one of your posts that suggested that it have a wider bulb and a narrow neck to the base, but that ones with jeweled bases (the most popular ones and the only ones I can seem to find online) aren’t particularly comfortable for long term use. What type of base would you recommend? Thanks for in advance, I can’t wait to train my ass for my boyfriend.

In many ways it can come down to a bit of personal preference and anatomical differences that vary from person to person, so it’s hard to give an answer that’s going to be suitable for everyone. Avoid materials other than silicone, steel and glass, though. A lot of lower grade materials can cause irritation or have toxic ingredients.

Silicone is softer and pliable and so some find it comfortable in that regard compared to having something totally rigid, but it can have a bit more friction so you notice it as lube dries out a bit more, depending on the surface finish of the silicone. Silicone toys can sometimes have issues with silicone lube, so are often limited to water-based and oil-based.

Steel and glass are rigid and smooth and often require less lube or can manage to stay comfortable longer as lube dries/gets absorbed. Some prefer the firmness of these materials, too.

Some possible options to consider are the Implicit Creations Core Plug (silicone, shaped for comfortable long term wear, multiple sizes), the Tantus Ryder (silicone, comfortably shaped, 1.5″ max diameter), and the nJoy line of plugs. T-shaped or loop bases are often going to be the most comfortable, and you want to avoid things with sharp edges. If you have a local sex toy store, I’d suggest going in and looking at some in person to get an idea of shape and size.

Finally, jeweled plugs can be very sexy and a lot of people like seeing them and wearing them, and even if they aren’t necessarily the best design for comfortable long term wear, they can be well worth having anyway to use in appropriate situations. And some do wear them fairly long term anyway.

Hope that helps some, and good luck and have fun with your anal training!

Anonymous: so i’m slowly taking steps to having more anal (might try anal only, but that’s a ways down the road). my issue is while i like plugs while masturbating or having sex, i simply can’t get used to wearing them in everyday life. i try to put one in and get dressed to go to the store, and it gets so uncomfortable (not hurting, but not a good feeling) that i have to take it out before i leave the house. is there anything i can try to help this?

That’s a normal part of the process for some people, and the best way to deal with it is to wear your plug regularly, but in controlled environments like at home, up until the point where it becomes uncomfortable. Then take it out until you’re ready to put it back in again. (If you’re ready to keep doing it right away, try just taking it out for a little while and putting back in again, otherwise wait a bit longer.) Next time, try to go a little bit longer than before. If you’re comfortable doing so, push your limits a little past the point of slight discomfort, but not into pain.

As you keep doing this, you’ll start relaxing more and learning to have something comfortably in your ass without discomfort. It’s not uncommon for people to start out with a plug becoming uncomfortable after 15 to 20 minutes if they already have a little anal experience, and sometimes less. But with practice you can easily get to where it will be comfortable going out in public with it in, wearing it all night, or even 24/7.

Another factor can be the plug material and the type of/how much lube you’re using. Silicone plugs are softer and less rigid, but have a bit more surface friction that can cause an uncomfortable feeling if you don’t have enough lube or it dries out. Glass and steel plugs are harder and smoother and can get by with less lube.

Hope that helps!

Anonymous: Being anal only for as long as you have, do you need much prep to have anal sex or play? Do you need to stretch or clean or is your ass always ready to take it? I’ve been anal only for one month and just in one month I can see the difference and how easier it is to take my boyfriend. I even noticed we don’t need as much lube as we used to.

ilikeitintheass: My ass is nearly always ready to be fucked. I don’t do much prep unless I’m having an off day “bowel movement-wise”. As for stretching, I don’t need to do that. Just some lube or spit, and I can slip in my fingers or my toys in my ass easily. Same when a guy fucks me. I noticed this too with the last guy i fucked who is bigger than am used to. And he pushed himself in and my ass just opened up for him. He was big and I wasn’t used to him but within minutes he was deep in my ass.

I think this is the training and consistency of being anal only.