miceandorratz: Hi! Know you’re on hiatus so feel free to answer whenever.

I found this blog a while ago and when I found out about No Pussy November I got really excited to finally start exploring anal stuff, especially now that I have friends (and probably more importantly the finances) to support me.

I’m not exactly sure what to do to start, though? I know November is a while’s off when I send this ask, but if I wanna buy any sex toys for the month I wanna do it beforehand. There’s no “anal training regimine” out there (I get it’s because I should go at the pace I feel comfortable with, but I wish there was something out there giving me a little more direction) so I’m not sure if I should get an anal training kit or just a lotta lube or what. Even between anal training kits I’m not sure what material to get it made outta!!

If you have any advice on what to do I’d appreciate it, all I really know that silicone lube is the preferred anal lube iirc. Any idea on if and what sex toys to bother with, general idea of how long to play with yourself, etc would be really appreciated. I don’t even have preference on price I’d just appreciate some direction.

Thanks for reading, hope things get easier for you! I’ve admired this blog for a while and stuff.

Glad to hear that you’re interested in anal and trying No Pussy November!

I suggest starting with lube and fingers and then getting a butt plug and dildo to try further from there. If you haven’t read our Guide, give it a look—it has a lot of advice on these topics.

Ultimately, though, the motivation and desire to get started is more important than exactly what you use. Most things will work, some better than others, and sticking with it and working on training your ass and ignoring your pussy are what will bring you success in the anal only lifestyle above all else.

Anonymous: When I have anal sex or use a butt plug, it stings and continues to whenever I try anything for a few days. Do you have any suggestions so I can try anal more often without it hurting?

It sounds like you may need to warm up a bit more, starting with lots of lube and gentle massage to gradually work your anus open with fingers, then progressing to a small toy. If it stings, you may be tearing it slightly by going too quickly.

Once you get to where you can use a toy without it stinging, try using it regularly, at least part of each day, and that will help you to stay relaxed and warmed up without risking injury. Even a minor injury can become irritated and last longer if it keeps happening or isn’t allowed to heal, so do what it takes to warm up without pain and you’ll enjoy long term satisfaction of anal sex!

My boyfriend has a VERY big fetish on anal I did it with him a couple of times. But man it’s hurt so bad. My boyfriend has a very thick 8″ at first he used to break my pussy do you have any way to make it better we use a lot of water base lub. I want to please him so bad help me!!

roseemyboucher, /r/analonlylifestyle

Continue reading on /r/analonlylifestyle on Reddit

In response to a question about anal looseness from going anal only:

My wife and I have been having anal sex for nearly 30 years, anal only for the past 14. Until recently she has had no issues whatsoever. Recently, she felt like she was too loose when really into it. In all honesty, I didn’t notice a difference. Performing ass to mouth when this happened seemed to help, as it removed some lubricant and allowed her ass a minute to reset, but she didn’t feel like it made enough of a difference. So, she began wearing a small glass plug with a very gradual taper for a couple hours a day. This, coupled with silicone lubricant, required her to squeeze it to keep it from coming out while going about her activities. Within a couple of weeks, we noticed a real difference. She didn’t feel she was too loose, and I felt like she had more control to squeeze me (she never felt loose to me anyway). When we really noticed it was when she orgasmed, her sphincter would squeeze and release and squeeze and release me.

So, as a couple who have probably had anal sex approaching 8000 times, from my best estimation, I can say it probably isn’t a concern. However, if it should occur, a little “light exercise” will tighten things back up again in no time.

LuvMyWifesAss, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Me and my Partner are anal only by choice and convenience but we have something in common. we don’t really like to use lube as it gets rid of a lot of friction and feeling inside for us. some days when shes just naturally wide open we can get in no lube other times we need a bit and it does steal some feeling for us and make it messier sometimes but does anybody else do or like this or is it uncommon

BWS19, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

It may surprise readers that most people responding similarly prefer to not use lube beyond a bit of saliva and natural anal mucous for lubrication!

Continue reading this discussion on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

While pop culture might have you believing that anal sex is an act that can just happen organically without tons of lube and prep beforehand, that’s just not really how it goes. Sure, the ol’ “sorry, I slipped and almost went into the wrong hole” thing happens sometimes, but it’s rare that the slipping excuse would result in full-penetration in your ass — unless you had a LOT of lube involved on both your bum, your partner’s penis, and even then, unlikely.

But if you’re willing to dedicate some time to prepwork (aka anal training), do your research, and buy a few lubes beforehand, anal sex can be uber pleasurable. Who knows, it might even become your favorite.

Yes, anal sex does require some extra preparation, but aside from that, it’s just another sex act. Whether you’re still debating trying it out, or are already committed to doing it, here’s everything you need to know about anal sex for beginners.

Continue reading on Cosmopolitan

Lube is pretty much required for anal sex — unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating and can’t get wet unless you help it out. Aside from skipping the necessary prep work, forgetting to use lube is one of the main reasons why anal can be unpleasant for some people.

Thicker lubes are best for anal sex, as anal walls are thinner than vaginal walls, and thus require a lube that can keep them nice and slippery to reduce the chances of cuts and tears inside the rectum. Abrasions increase your risk for contracting an STI, and nobody wants that. Overall, anal sex is considered particularly risky in terms of STI transmission, compared to vaginal or oral sex, so condom use is key (unless you’re in a monogamous relationship, and you and your partner have both been tested). And because of that, it’s important to make sure to use a lubricant that’s latex-friendly. Coconut oil and basically anything in your kitchen, for example, can’t be used with condoms.

Another thing to keep in mind is that the anus absorbs water quickly and can dry out easily when you’re using a water-based lube, according to sex therapist Kyla Black. Therefore, silicone-based lubes are usually the safest bet. That said, if you’re having anal sex with a silicone toy (like a strap-on or a dildo), or engaging in anal play with a silicone butt plug, go with a water-based lube and just make sure to use a lot. (Silicone breaks down silicone, and you don’t want your toys breaking down inside your butt.)

Whether you’re having anal sex with a penis or a toy, we want to make sure you’re having a safe and enjoyable time. Thankfully, there are lubes for every type of butt fun. Read on for our favourite lubes for your bum.

Continue reading on Refinery29

People wanting to try anal sex for the first time are usually attracted by what they’ve heard about it, or were asked by their partner to try it. Most who try anal have no information to guide them towards a pleasurable experience. Here is a list of important things to keep in mind if you want it to be enjoyable, repeatable, and something you and your partner will EVER want to do again!

1) There are two sphincter muscles, and both have to be relaxed for anal sex to feel good. The outer sphincter is a voluntary muscle, so with practice it can be relaxed at will. The second sphincter muscle  is an involuntary muscle about an inch and a half inside the anus. Because it’s an involuntary muscle, you’ll just have to wait for it to relax.  This can take up to twenty minutes for a beginner.

2) Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.  Anal sex feels amazing if the second sphincter muscles are relaxed. If they aren’t, forcing entry will bruise the muscles. That hurts a lot! When people talk about anal sex being painful, this is the stage they’re talking about.  Rectal tissues are much thinner and more fragile than are vaginal tissues. The only solution is to take things slowly – very slowly – and wait for the second sphincter muscle to finally relax by itself. Rush this step, and you may turn off the person involved to ever trying anal sex again.

3) Anal play requires lube. Lots of lube. Unlike the vagina and mouth, the anus and rectum do not produce lubrication. Lubes specifically formulated for anal play are typically thicker to compensate for how absorbant the rectal walls are to moisture. Thinner lubes will be absorbed more quickly, and will  need reapplication. An alternative is silicone-based lubricant, which will not be absorbed into the body, but is not safe for all toys. No matter what kind of lube you choose, use plenty and reapply.

4) Talk to your partner about how it feels. Waiting for the muscles to relax is a wonderful opportunity for communication, feedback, and lots of giggles! Yes, this is a chance to take things with some lightness and fun and even some silliness. Ask questions, answer questions, move slowly. This is a learning curve, as this is a whole new realm of sensations for the newcomer!

5) It gets better. Once relaxed, there is enormous potential for pleasure from anal sex. The second sphincter will eventually learn to relax much more quickly, taking cues from the first sphincter relaxing. This training can take months and even then can be finicky, so always take it slow.

We often tell people there are four major elements to anal sex: lots of good lubrication; lots of time; more lube; and more time.  Go slowly, have fun, and check in with your partner. Anal play is just that: play!

Continue reading on Frisky Business Adult Boutique

If you’ve followed us for a while, you’re probably familiar with our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, which has been a part of this website for the past year since moving off Tumblr.

It’s always going to be a freely available resource as part of this blog for those who want to learn more about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle, but I’m happy to announce that you can also purchase it in an ebook format through Amazon as well, if that’s how you prefer to do your reading!

It can be a good resource if you’re just getting started, and it can make a good gift for friends who might be interested in anal or going anal only. Either way, it helps support this blog and the greater anal only community.

And, if you’re looking for another way to support the anal only community, consider becoming a Patron!

BWS19 on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum asks:

Me and my Partner are anal only by choice and convenience but we have something in common. we don’t really like to use lube as it gets rid of a lot of friction and feeling inside for us. some days when shes just naturally wide open we can get in no lube other times we need a bit and it does steal some feeling for us and make it messier sometimes but does anybody else do or like this or is it uncommon

And one of several responses:

While initially we used lube, many years Of anal now means that my wife’s a master of relaxing and letting me in. Just a little natural pre-cum – a drop or two – and then I’m sliding in balls deep.

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum