Tag: 20180501

A man describes his attempts to introduce anal sex into his relationship with his fiancée and gradually move them towards going anal only together.

Message: Your Methods Deliver

It’s been a great summer and now many months since I first came to you.

No, we are not anal only yet, but I can see it as possible one day. It could happen any day or be a few years off but I feel very positive about our chances.

But when I compare where we were to where we are now, I wouldn’t have believed the progress if you had asked me at the start of the year.

Sure I’d prefer not to be doing her pussy at all, but for all the anal we have now it’s a small price to pay, so the advice I’d continue to give all your followers here is to BE PATIENT. Give her time and space to find her own preferences and she will.

Sex continues to be fantastic and I believe she loves all the anal fun we have as much as I do. Like I said before I don’t make any demands so she’s much more willing and as a benefit always relaxed about it. I can’t stress how much difference that’s making to her enjoyment, comfort and how long or often we have sex.

She’s still hanging on to some vaginal out of habit I guess and I’m ok with that. I know everybody is different but this has worked for us. Some might be uncomfortable even with minimal vaginal but I think it’s important to keep in mind the long term goal.

I’ll continue to submit more in the future so you know where we are at.

Thank you for following up, that’s great to hear! Maybe during one of the upcoming anal only challenge months—No Pussy November or Anal Only April—you could see if she’d be willing to try exploring just anal for a month and see how she feels about vaginal after that. Many who try anal only for a month or two lose any hesitations they had about the idea before that and want to commit to it full time after.

Message: It Gets Better And Easier

It’s been a few weeks and I don’t know if you want to know how we are getting on but here it is.

What you’ve been saying here in your advice and answers to your followers is true: it gets better and it gets easier. Anal is becoming more and more of our thing so I’m starting to think that anal only can be real goal for us now. It isn’t a fantasy any more which if you’d told me even a few months ago I wouldn’t of believed.

Anal is becoming something we can get down to with minimal prep now as she’s become super relaxed with the whole thing. We did over do it a while back, so we eased off. But I take that as I good sign as she must have been loving it just as I was. So I’m finding that if I don’t push for it, she’s much more likely to initiate anal for herself. I’m still clear about what I prefer and pay lots of attention to her ass during foreplay etc. Better results are through not setting out with anything in mind but letting things happen more naturally. If I look like I’m expecting anal then she feels under pressure and then it’s not as easy for her I’ve found.

It’s a good feeling to see her so satisfied after!

Glad to hear it’s working out so well for the two of you! It sounds like you’re doing it the right way and letting it evolve somewhat naturally, with just a bit of guidance and conversation to make it clear how much you’re enjoying it this way. Like you say, anal only will likely be a very legitimate goal for the two of you in the future. Keep gradually moving things in that direction and see where it goes!

Message: Am I Asking Too Much of Her?

You said to my last submission

That’s fantastic. Keep it up, keep her cumming, and keep communicating to make sure you both stay balanced and aren’t overdoing it or causing anything that might end up slowing things back down or requiring you to back off, and there’s a good chance she’ll want to keep going with just anal.

Make sure she knows how happy you are, too.

You think that I may be asking too much of her? I think it is what she wants and I don’t think she’d have anal with me if she didn’t want to. But if you think I could be doing harm to the chances of anal only then I’ll back off. That’d be hard as I’m having the best time of my life. How much is the right amount given where we are?

And yes I’ve been telling her every day how happy this makes me. But I think she can tell anyways.

Not at all, if it’s working for the both of you. If she’s happy and you’re happy, great! I just mean to stay in communication and adjust if necessary. If not necessary, keep having fun!

Message: More and More

You were right!! You said she would want more and more anal and we’ve just had 4 days of anal! I’m now worried I’m going to wake up. We never had as much sex when we were just doing vaginal. And no soreness just pleasure for us both. She likes a vibe on and around her clit and cums hard. She likes it if I thrust deep and hold while she cums and I can feel her ring squeeze down hard several times. My mind is blown and I’m very happy with how things are working out. I had no idea it could be like this or that things might change so quickly.

Until next time………..

That’s fantastic. Keep it up, keep her cumming, and keep communicating to make sure you both stay balanced and aren’t overdoing it or causing anything that might end up slowing things back down or requiring you to back off, and there’s a good chance she’ll want to keep going with just anal.

Make sure she knows how happy you are, too.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

alwaysanalblog: It sounds like she’s discovered what anal can do for her. People have long said it’s all about the man but if anything it’s women who are the real ones who become addicted to this form of pleasure.

Message: Girlfriend Prefers Anal But Doesn’t Want To Admit It

Hello I’ve written to you before about my girl and myself. Yesterday I was catching up on you blog as I usually do and I read the post about anal play for women. It got me thinking about my own experiences and how for the average woman it is all about perception. She’s thinking what will my husband/boyfriend think? What would my friends think? And above all that they don’t want to be seen to be liking anal sex.

Now that we have anal sex often and she admits that she enjoys it she still doesn’t want to admit it is better than vaginal sex. The thing is that I know her better than anyone and I can tell from her behaviour and reactions that anal is better for her. She is so much more passionate and alive during anal sex compared to vaginal. Does she think I can’t see this?

Back to the point: Is (as the article you linked suggests) that women don’t want to be seen as a slut? No way would I think of her like that. But it’s my idea that that’s what is holding people back from wider adoption now.

That’s a big part of it for some people, the idea that it isn’t “normal”, or is a thing “sluts” do, or a fear of judgement from partners. It’s not the only factor, but it is a factor.

Message: Success Story

Thanks to your blog I had the confidence to get my fiancé to try anal sex. It took time but I never gave up seeing as it’s really no big deal now. For ages she turned me down, but I was patient and waited and didn’t push her too hard. I started by saying “if you don’t want anal sex then at least let me touch you back there” then things progressed to me licking her ass hole which she  really liked. After that she was more open to the idea saying “maybe” or “we’ll see”. Fast forward a few months and she finally gave it a try. Since then we’ve done it more and more often. She say’s that after getting used to the difference that it wasn’t anything like what she had been told or imagined and that at times it could feel pretty good! Nowhere near ready for anal only yet but hope to in the future.

Congratulations! Glad to hear my blog helped you approach her about it and that you were able to convince her to try. Keep it up, keep the focus on her pleasure and enjoyment of it, and she’ll continue wanting it more and more. Good luck and enjoy!

The following follow-up message was provided.

Thanks for this. Already anal and vaginal are equal in her eyes. That’s a huge improvement in such a short time. It’s funny how after so long its like the damn just breaks. I try to steer things towards anal as often as I can but still without coming across as pushy. And yes, as always the focus is on her pleasure as I love seeing her cum during anal. There’s no better feeling than seeing that happen for her.

I wasn’t expecting a personal response as I know you must get hundreds of submissions so I was really excited. Don’t ever stop this blog as you are doing so much good giving top advice and encouragement, given people a real chance of having a happier and better sex life. I know its not *the* most important thing in life but it counts for a lot.

Great to hear, and I’m sure that as you continue towards it increasingly, anal will become the dominant and preferred source of pleasure for her. It can be hard to adjust to that idea at first, especially with a fast transition, but it often happens naturally over a bit more time. Keep it positive and keep encouraging her and helping her see that preference in a positive light.

The original version of this post on Tumblr also received the following responses.

alwaysanalblog: It sounds as though he took the proper approach with his fiancé. Never push. Trying out anal should be something someone is willing to try, because they want to discover more about themselves and because they value pleasuring their partner. Moving forward slowly can be understandably frustrating for the eager partner but the results will be worth it in the long run. I believe if he carries on in the way he has begun then he could well be on his way to a happy and fulfilling anal only relationship.

I believe that as long as he keeps the focus on anal sex, and treats his woman well then he will be home and dry. @analonlylifestyle points out that it can take time to adjust, although this is usually more psychological than physical. Already her body will be responding positively to the enhanced stimulation she attains through anal sex. Her mind with it’s lifetime of assumptions and beliefs is a more delicate matter and great care should always be taken to help her through this time as she rebuilds her core ideals and self identity. It is an amazing time for her, and after she will cherish the patient and strong man who took a gentle lead in guiding her.

I sincerely wish them all the best.