Message: Cheating?
Jess: If my husband doesn’t want to have anal sex due to religious beliefs and only wants vaginal sex, would anal sex with another partner be cheating if we only do anal and not vaginal sex? Vaginal sex will only be for him and my ass for play. I think as long as I maintain the vagina just for him, then I am not really cheating since he doesn’t want anal, right?
This depends entirely on your relationship and dynamic with your husband. Most people consider cheating to be any sexual or romantic activity with another partner without everyone agreeing that you aren’t monogamous.
If your husband agrees to let you be anal only with another partner, then it’s not cheating.
I’d encourage moving past vaginal sex entirely and going fully anal only, even if that means not having sex with your husband anymore. Perhaps he would agree to go oral only instead, where you simply give him blowjobs but he doesn’t use your vagina?
Sadly, it sounds like the two of you are not sexually compatible. I’m not sure how this can be overcome. Speaking as a man, I would not stay with or marry a woman who wasn’t into anal sex. This most extreme act of pleasure and intimacy, really the physical embodiment of pleasure and sexual intimacy, is simply too important a facet of healthy living for me to pass up. Way too many religious people are so repulsively vanilla when it comes to sex. Does this man even like oral sex?
I can’t believe someone needs to ask if having anal with a person outside the relationship os cheating…