Month: December 2020

Anal Only Lifestyle 2020 Roundup

What a year it has been! I think we can all be glad when 2020 is behind us, but despite all the tragedy and mayhem throughout the year, it’s been a year of positive change within the Anal Only Lifestyle community.

One of our big additions this year was the publication of our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle as a Kindle ebook. Many of you have purchased copies, which helps support this community, and we hope to have print copies available as well in the near future.

Our Patreon is another way that you can support this community, and it has continued to remain active with new members joining. If you’d like to help us out, please join.

Our community continues to slowly grow, with over 3,000 members on each the Anal Only Lifestyle forum and our Discord server. The /r/analonlylifestyle subreddit has nearly 10,000 members. This blog gets between 600 and 800 unique visitors per day, many visiting directly while others find it through various Google searches.

Posting on our Bdsmlr porn blog (NSFW) resumed in full on a schedule similar to when it was active on Tumblr. If you haven’t checked it out recently, be sure to follow us! Bdsmlr is still a much smaller community than Tumblr was, so we only have 6,500 followers there, but there’s a growing anal only presence on the platform and it could use even more people posting about and advocating for the anal only lifestyle if you aren’t already active there.

Anal Only April and No Pussy November both had quite a few participants this year, with many newcomers to the anal only lifestyle trying it out for the first time, and more than a few experienced anal only women trying other challenges, including a month of double anal sex only, several opting to stay double anal only going forward as a result. Very exciting to see the enthusiasm around both, and hope to have even more participation in challenges going forward.

The COVID-19 pandemic both interfered with and contributed to some of the above with regard to participation in challenges, and just provided some people more opportunities to do more anal or go anal only in their existing relationships. Stuck in lockdown, many couples had a lot of time and boredom on their hands and turned to anal sex, or exploring the anal only lifestyle together, and many reported deciding to stay anal only after an intensive introduction to it.

As for the new year, the plan is to continue as we have been, but with even more. Additions are underway for the Guide, and once complete, a second edition with a print edition will be published. Watch for new and additional monthly challenge schedules with routines scheduled out for various goals: anal training, clit denial, long term plug wear, anal orgasm, double anal, and more. And, with any luck, we’ll also get a store with anal only merchandise finally off the ground in 2021. Above all else, though, we continue to strive to bring more people into the anal only lifestyle and moving the world past vaginal sex to pure anal.

How has 2020 been for you with regards to the anal only lifestyle?

Article: The Tea on Anal

Sex is very confusing, but there’s one thing I’ve always been certain of: for some reason, straight men are obsessed with anal sex.

I can’t speak to why this is the case. Some part of me suspects that many of them might be bi-curious and looking for a toxically heterosexual outlet. This claim has absolutely no substance: it’s just rooted in my own speculation. It’s important to read Queer theory and even more important to critically analyze toxic masculinity, but it’s still pretty fun to tease my straight boyfriend with this notion.

Regardless, straight men definitely go crazy for anal, but for many reasons, women attracted to men don’t always feel the same way for many reasons—the biggest reason being pain.

There are many academic studies on this pain. One from 2011 found that over 40 per cent of heterosexual women (a group which I’m not a part of, but can nonetheless relate to) experienced pain their first time engaging in anal sex. Many stopped immediately, but others endured the pain to please their male partners—which is deeply problematic.

That brings me to the one thing I hope all men reading this take away: never, ever coerce a woman into engaging in any kind of sex. We aren’t yours to convince, and our sexual preferences aren’t up for debate.

Now that that’s out of the way, I can safely tell you lots of women actually enjoy anal, including me. If you really want, you can find a woman willing to do butt stuff—please just wait until the pandemic is over.

Continue reading at The Queen’s University Journal

Anal Only is Better for Women

Contrary to popular belief, and something that is echoed by many of the anal only women out there, the primary benefactors of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle are women.

So many people still insist on the misconception that women don’t enjoy anal and only do it for their male partners, and that men get far more enjoyment from anal penetration than women do.

Now, men certainly enjoy and get a lot of benefit out of anal sex as well, but the point of this article is to explore how vastly superior anal can be for women in comparison to men.

For men, it’s sexier, tighter, has more texture and grip than vaginal, and allows for deeper penetration.

For women, the contrast is more significant:

  • The tightness leads to a much more intense feeling of fullness compared to vaginal, which amplifies pleasure in general and makes everything more stimulating as a result.
  • The depth allows much much deeper and harder penetration without risking impacting with the cervix, which can be very uncomfortable and painful.
  • Anal sex is inherently a form of natural birth control, and it’s very difficult to get accidentally pregnant from anal sex (not impossible, but rare), which allows focusing on sex and pleasure without the fear of risked pregnancy, other forms of birth control failing, or their cost and side effects.
  • Less than 1/3 of women are able to orgasm from vaginal penetration alone and rely on clit stimulation in order to orgasm during vaginal. However, studies show that over 80% of women who have anal sex orgasm from it. Because many women experience negative side effects from clit orgasms, including loss of arousal, oversensitivity post-orgasm, and emotional crashes and depression post-orgasm, which generally are not present with anal orgasms, this can make a tremendous difference to long term enjoyment of sex and arousal.

So, if you or someone you know thinks that men get the most benefit from anal sex, it’s always best to try it for yourself and see what you really think. Chances are you’ll be surprised just how much greater anal is than vaginal for women, and the benefit is usually even greater for women than it is for men.

Article: The Myth of the Loose Butthole

Every person who engages in anal sex fears that they will one day possess a bashed and battered asshole, one that’s not as bright and tight as it used to be. I can admit that I was once a part of that camp, fearing that every time I bottomed, I was causing permanent damage to my precious b-hole. But, as is true with most generalizations, you come to realize it’s (mostly) a bunch of BS.

I became particularly invested in this topic after working with a sexual wellness company that launched a service called Text-a-Sexpert, in which a fellow sex educator and myself would answer people’s personal sex questions via text message. Almost instantly, I was taken aback by the volume of folks who wrote me desperate that their holes were—or would soon become—loose as a result of receptive anal intercourse.

As a radical empath who despises sexual shame in any shape or form, I want to wax poetic on the power and resilience of our buttholes. To assist, I’ve enlisted the expertise of not one, but two LGBTQ butt doctors as well as one experienced anal sex advocate, author, and sex shop owner. So let’s dispel some harmful myths and put those fanny-based fears to rest.

Continue reading on TheBody

Forum: Overcoming Ease of Vaginal

Hi all, I’m new to the forum and have recently started plugging regularly. I’m interested in moving toward anal only or also more regularly at least, but my partner loves the ease of vaginal sex, particularly the lack of need for lube/and waiting for prep. Any advice to increase his pleasure with/desire for anal?

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

You’re definitely on the right track with plugging, which will help you relax open more quickly and also help you learn when and why you’re more likely to be clean. Move up in size when you’re ready!
You could also do a little discreet cleaning and lubing before you head for bed. Thanks to the plug this may be easier than you expect.
Let him know you enjoy being touched on the butt, and show him your pleasure when he does ..

FarmerDan, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

I really cannot understand what’s wrong with man who complain about going anal only and still want to fuck vaginas. Maybe they’re normal and not perverted like me but WTF?! It’s my biggest dream to find an AO girlfriend and someone who has it turn her down for the ease of pussy…damn karma…

What can I say…you shouldn’t have to do it with me of course but beside FarmerDan good advices I can say you to be slutty. Turn him on. Show him your plugged ass while you’re around in the house. Show him your gaping hole, tease him being slutty.

Gapeman, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Thanks for the advice!

As a quick update, I told my partner how much I enjoy anal and told him I’m plugging regularly so he can easily take my ass. Unsurprisingly, he loves it and we’re having anal much more frequently. 

And as a bonus, my ass gets extra attention just from the plug. I’m regularly using the snug plug 2 (highly recommend for anyone who wants to have a silicone plug with some weight to increase the full feeling).

Pluggedkitty, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Article: Sex That You Will Never Have, Under Any Condition

I have enjoyed receiving anal sex. Not regularly, but as something on the menu, yes. My lover of the last 12 months, and this just came up, has told me that he has never had anal sex and never will. Like ever. At all. Given how often I have done this (I’m 29), it’s not that big of a thing, but he has been very clear, and I don’t think “never” means “only a few times a year.” I asked why, and he said “fecal matter.” So, trying to be can-do about this all, I suggested we get a toy he could use on me, and he rejected this too. I offered to make sure there was no fecal matter. He still said no. I think there will be no budge here. I don’t think I like this, but it seems like a stupid thing to end a relationship over. — Name withheld by request

Dear Anal Avenger: Is it? One thing he should get credit for: honesty. He didn’t shilly-shally or equivocate in any way. Consequently, there is no, nor should there be, assumption of any give. Any questions after that might be answered, but that’s a maybe and not a must.

Like Sam-I-Am and his dislike of green eggs and ham, dunning him for an entire lifetime to stick something, anything, in your rear end is an unseemly chore. And, unlike the book, he may still be unlikely to yield in the end. Now, I imagine if your relationship is perfect in every other way, this might seem to be a stupid trade; however, people with relationships that are perfect in every other way rarely write to me.

So while you haven’t asked me a specific question, I will give you a specific answer: A good/great sex life seems to be all about a willingness to engage and embrace your partner in their totality, and this is not that. If you were going to try to cajole him, you might tell him that at least you weren’t suggesting sticking something up his butt, but I don’t even suggest doing this. Instead, I think you do like The Floaters once sang and just “float … float on.” Life’s too short to spend it not getting the sex you want.

Continue reading at OZY

The Importance of Consent

It’s time we talked again about consent within the anal only lifestyle. Several discussions have come up recently in other parts of the community as it relates to consent, and I also occasionally hear from other people who have either had negative experiences involving lack of consent or have a poor understanding of it.

The anal only lifestyle is, as all sexual activities should be, built on a foundation of consent. While this blog does advocate for widespread adoption of anal only, it’s essential to understand that in no way does it ever advocate forcing that adoption on anyone, and instead opts to encourage people to try it for themselves through discussion of the many advantages, and see on their own whether they find those advantages to be beneficial and worth giving up vaginal sex for pure anal.

However, some people still have a poor understanding of this, and approach it from the perspective of “how can I make my partner go anal only?” or decide to just force it without asking. That’s not okay, and should never be done.

In addition to it being fundamentally wrong to force someone to do something against their will, having a partner who goes anal only because they genuinely enjoy and want that as well is vastly superior to only doing it because it’s what you demand. If anal is essential to your sexual satisfaction, either talk that through openly with your partner and see if it’s something they’re willing to explore together as partners, or find a more compatible partner.

Now, there are those who are anal only as part of a BDSM relationship which may involve consensual non-consent where a person allows their partner to decide what they will be doing sexually, and that is a different scenario entirely, because they have consented to the arrangement.

Make sure everyone’s consenting and on board with everything, and enjoy yourselves. If a partner is unwilling to try, don’t force them. It’s as simple as that.

Message: How to Include Anal Training in Sex Routine?

Anonymous: Here’s a question I’d be curious to see answered – What are some fun ways to incorporate anal training into your regular sex routine? I want to find ways to bring in some anal training that feel fun and exciting for my wife (rather than feeling like it’s a chore or getting bored during prolonged foreplay).

We already do some butt play regularly, but we are looking to building up to regular penetrative anal sex. We’re not totally new to anal sex, but it’s been quite a while since we’ve done it. We’re already pretty familiar with fingering, rimming and small plugs.

I’m thinking the best way to go about it is to increase our use of butt plugs and gradually increase the size. Is there a good way to do this without it feeling too clinical? Or maybe a way to make the process feel a bit sexier?

Thank you!

Ps. I really appreciate all the work you put into this blog!

Using butt plugs is a great option, and jeweled plugs can can be beneficial in that they both provide some level of training and have aesthetic appeal as well for many people, making them like a form of sexy jewelry that can be worn before and during other sexual activity.

Incorporating rimming and fingering as a regular part of foreplay even when you aren’t going to have anal sex can also be a great way of normalizing it and making it frequent.

By doing it regularly even when you don’t proceed to anal sex afterwards, it helps with training by keeping it a frequent activity, and makes it so that once you do start anal sex again, she’s already more used to it and partially warmed up from having done anal play regularly at a lower level.

Message: Double Anal With Boyfriend & Roommate in Quarantine, Part II

Anonymous: I wrote in the spring about being in quarantine with my boyfriend and roommate and how we had sex before, but in quarantine it was all the time with the three of us, and then we started trying double anal sex together and really enjoyed it.

I wanted to tell you that following your advice, we started doing it more often, and for several weeks we had double anal sex every day. Since the summer we have only had double anal sex because we like it very much, and we read about the idea of ​​double anal only here, and it was a good idea. For five months we have only had double anal sex, at least once a day.

They are not boyfriend and roommate anymore, they are both my boyfriends now, and we all like that we are in a relationship together. Doing it double anal just makes it a special connection for all of us, and we are committed to staying that way now, because it’s so nice, but also represents who we are so good.

But we want to know if this can last, is it safe and okay to do double anal so often and indefinitely? I have not had any problems so far, I feel very healthy and good about it, but I want to be sure.

Thanks for the update! So often people post a very interesting story and never return, so it’s good to hear updates from people about how things are going and progressing.

That sounds wonderful that you’ve not only been able to enjoy double anal together more often but found that it was what you really enjoyed most and decided to make your relationship double anal only going forward. I’ve posted about that subject on occasion and it definitely seems to be slowly growing in popularity with women, some trying it for the short term and others taking their anal only commitment to the next level by going double anal only.

I know and have interacted with a number of women over the years who regularly practice double anal or who are double anal only themselves, and have not heard any complain of negative side effects of going double anal only. As you no doubt have experienced, a frequent practice of double anal sex is going to result in your anus staying more relaxed and loose in the short term, though if you were to stop for whatever reason, it would tighten back up quickly. For double anal only women, staying loose and relaxed is desirable, however, so this is usually a very good side effect.

So long as you listen to your body and recognize any injuries and allow yourself to heal, you’ll be fine and are unlikely to have any negative problems. The fact you’ve been doing this daily for the past 5 months suggests you’re doing just fine and will have no issue.

I wish the three of you the best of luck and hope you are able to enjoy many years of double anal only together!

Forum: Enthusiastically Embracing the Anal Only Lifestyle

I am new here and in this lifestyle, I chose this path about nine months ago, which have been the best days and the best decisions of my life.
I chose to be AO because my life got boring and monotonous just with vaginal penetration.
The boys of my country are a bit prejudiced regarding this issue, so as you know I have not yet had a boy who has penetrated me anally.
Also my biggest concern has always been pregnancies, I already have a child and I don’t want to have more babies.
I have been single for many months, precisely for this reason of having sex and getting pregnant, contraceptive methods are not safe, that is how I am entering this lifestyle.
For a few months after I broke up with my boyfriend I was masturbating vaginally but it was very boring, so I took the initiative to practice anal masturbation.
I searched many pages, on Twitter I found Anal Only Style Life which has been a good advisor and guide for my process.
I bought a plug, a dildo and a lubricant, daily I massaged my anus with my fingers until I managed to dilate it and I was able to insert the plug.
During the nights I slept with my anal plug on, over the days I was able to change my plug for the dildo, it has been a good therapy for anal dilation.
With this experience I convinced myself that it is a beneficial lifestyle, it is the best contraceptive and much more pleasant than my pussy.
I am currently in the process of masturbating to reach anal orgasm without the help of the clitoris, I am also aspiring to be an anal queen, I am very enthusiastic about this.
I am very proud of what I have accomplished.
I must emphasize that in only anal I will remain and that there is no going back.
Once anal, always anal!

JuneSweetyHot, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum