Anonymous: Hi! I’m 21, and I started my sexuality about one year and a half ago with an experienced boyfriend who taught me everything I know about sex.

Back then, when we started talking about doing it, he told me he was paranoid about unwanted pregnancy and didn’t trust condoms, so he suggested we do anal sex. I wasn’t against anal, but I didn’t want that as my first sexual experience. I offered alternatives like taking the pill, but every time, he would find some reason to decline and go back to his suggestion to only do anal, which led me to believe he was just finding excuses.

For four weeks, we only did hugging, kissing, caressing each other and oral sex. He patiently taught me how to give good blowjobs, and he would lick my anus. Little by little, he would massage my anus with his fingers and penetrate it a bit. Eventually, I gave up, and agreed to do anal sex.

I must say he was really nice and good at it: he bought me an enema pear and taught me how to use it (he even gave me a few enemas, it was humiliating but it was also hot somehow, and he gave good advice), he told me which diet I should follow, he advised me to masturbate only my ass when we couldn’t see each other, he explained the right postures and attitudes I should take during sex, and he went very slow on my ass, using only his fingers for the first sessions. Eventually, it was me who begged him to fuck my ass with his cock, and I had a lot of pleasure right away.

During all this time, we only did anal, and he discouraged me to touch my clit or vagina, telling me it would spoil the pleasure I got during sex. Anal just became an everyday normal thing, and eventually, I could take him easily and casually.

Our relationship eventually ended (not because of sex), and I got a new boyfriend, a good friend of his actually. But the problem is, the idea of vaginal sex now doesn’t appeal to me and actually terrifies me, I’d really like to resume the sexuality I’ve been following so far. I don’t know how to announce it to my new boyfriend without sounding like a complete slut, I only found excuses so far to avoid penetration, but he’s getting impatient, and is tired of me only giving him blowjobs, no matter how good they are.

What should I do? Should I open up to the idea of vaginal sex? In what way and with what words should I tell him I’d like anal penetration only? Thanks for your help.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, it sounds like you had an excellent introduction to anal sex and the anal only lifestyle with your ex-boyfriend, and he helped you see the benefits of being anal only and staying a vaginal virgin. It also sounds like that’s what you really want now, and if that’s the case, then I encourage sticking up for your desires and staying anal only!

As for how to tell your new boyfriend, just talk to him. Be honest. Communication is an important part of any relationship, and this is an important thing to communicate about. Tell him that you’d love to start having sex with him but that you’re an anal only girl and while you don’t want to do vaginal sex, you’d love to do anal and oral with him as often as he wants. If he’s like most guys, he’ll come around to the idea pretty quickly once he realizes he really can have anal sex with you all the time and cum in your ass without any fear of pregnancy.

I hope that helps, and please let us know how it goes!

Something that many people ask is, “why anal only?” They already do and love anal sex but wonder why they should do it exclusively. Common concerns include an enjoyment of vaginal sex they think they will miss, a fear of boredom or losing interest after “too much” anal, and other related concerns.

But the reality is that while anal sex makes a great addition to any sexual routine, you don’t ever experience the full potential of it until you focus on it exclusively and combine it with giving up vaginal sex entirely.

Vaginal sex and clit stimulation suppress a woman’s libido after orgasm, while anal sex maintains or even amplifies it. This not only makes having sex a stronger urge one wants to do more often, it also makes sex more pleasurable as time goes on. It boosts orgasms, it makes the act more pleasurable in the moment, and it opens minds to try new things like wearing a plug long term, going ass to mouth, or trying double anal.

The true potential of anal can’t be experienced until you try being anal only for a month or two. So, stop having vaginal sex and just do anal. Adopt the anal only lifestyle and you’ll never want to go back.

Krista: From reading your blog I decided to try and have anal orgasms by not using my clit and to my surprise they started to come easily for me once I stopped. It only took me a few times before they started, and they are already my favorite. I have lost interest in my clit because of them and wanted to say thank you!

You’re welcome, thanks for sharing. Everyone has different experiences, but in general, clit denial as a means of achieving anal orgasms is a great option, because clit stimulation tends to be an easier form of reaching orgasm at first, and so it can overpower the more subtle sensations and stimulations needed through anal to achieve pure anal orgasms. I encourage it for everyone to at least try!

CharlesO: Hey man, I want to thank you for all the information on this page, it really helped my girlfriend and me start doing anal regularly and now she’s agreed to try going anal only too starting this month, which is a real dream come true for me. I hope she loves it and we can stay anal only, fingers crossed! We’re going to try it until the end of the year for now.

The thing that really made it click for her was when I started rimming her every time we did anything sexual, and especially before any anal play. She loves how it feels and it drives her wild, makes her pussy drip, and she says she can feel it relax her, not just her asshole but her whole body. By the time I’m done she usually begs me to fuck her in the ass and it goes in really easily and doesn’t hurt her at all. And that was a big difference from before when she was agreeing to do it but it took more preparation and she would hurt and get sore and want to wait weeks between sometimes. Now we do it every day and she’s asking me for it instead of the other way around!

Glad that they were helpful for the two of you! I’ve been a strong proponent for education before anal in order to maximize enjoyment for everyone and ensure a lasting love of anal.

Thanks for sharing your experiences with rimming—that’s been my experience as well, and I highly recommend it for everyone looking to start having anal sex with their partner. Focus on her enjoyment through rimming and external play first and make her want more, and she’ll be much more eager to have anal sex.

Good luck with your anal only trial! It sounds like she’s going to love it and with any luck will want to stay fully anal only after the end of the year!

JennyAO: I read your article that encouraged AO girls to tell their friends about anal only, and encourage them to do it too, and I want to share how it worked for me. I have been doing it for a few years now, and I think this is a great idea, and that you are urging other AO women to do it!

My friends and I have always been really open about sexual topics, which made it easier, and they knew I loved anal. A few months after my boyfriend and I went anal only, I started telling them about that, too. Most of them thought I was crazy at first, even the ones who also liked anal. But we kept talking and when they saw how much I really liked it, their skepticism changed into curiosity and I encouraged them to try it too. We had started with one of your one month challenges and I told them to do the same.

I’m really proud to say that now a few years later, four of my six closest friends are also anal only, and one of them is mainly AO, but if her boyfriend wants it, sometimes she’ll still do vaginal (I’m still working on them). The sixth has not been convinced, but she does like anal. I think that if I can help her orgasm from anal, she might be convinced. She is the only one of us who has vaginal orgasms, so I think she doesn’t see the benefits as much as those of us who can only cum from anal.

Another advantage is that not only are we closer as friends (some of us now often have sex with each other and our partners), we can really help and encourage each other, it’s great to have a special support network for anal only. It has helped two of us stay anal only through a new relationship, and I think if we stay this close together, we will always stay anal only with each other’s encouragement.

So, I want to say the same as you did: tell your friends that you are anal only, and encourage them to do it too! For me, doing this changed my life in a very good way.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful experiences. I keep hearing similar stories from women who have had such success with open-minded friends and encouraging them to try also going anal only if they haven’t already. More often than not it ends in at least some of the friends being anal only too, and over time can continue to grow from there as a little local club of anal only girls.

This is a great way to keep spreading the anal only lifestyle to more people, because it’s local, and is based on hearing from and talking with people they know and trust and so they may be more inclined to actually try it for themselves.

Many men reach out asking how they can get their female partners to start having anal sex or go anal only. While there is a lot of great advice about the process in our Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle, one key to being successful in this goal is approaching it with a positive rather than negative attitude.

If you’re unsatisfied with vaginal sex and think anal sex will be the solution to that, don’t start out the conversation by saying that you’re unhappy with vaginal sex. Nobody wants to hear that their partner isn’t enjoying sex with them, even if it isn’t their fault and there’s nothing wrong with them. It can make people insecure about their bodies and their performance and be less inclined to try new things.

Instead, work on gradually making her feel sexy and proud about her ass and let her know how beautiful and attractive it is, how much you love it, how it turns you on, and as you start having anal sex together, let her know how much you enjoy sharing that with her and how great it feels. Build her up rather than putting her down by making her feel like her pussy isn’t good enough.

Couple that with making sure that anal feels really great for her and she gets a lot of pleasure and orgasms out of it, and you’ll be a long way towards enjoying anal together frequently!

My first proper boyfriend got me into anal a very long time ago. He was 5 years older than me and I would have done anything for him. During my period I would keep him happy with blowjobs. I’ve always loved sucking cock so it wasn’t a bother for me. After a few months he asked to fuck me in the ass when I was on. I wasn’t sure at first but he said his ex used to really like it. I’ve no idea if that was true, but I didn’t want to let him down. It really hurt to begin with to the point I wasn’t sure I’d made the right decision. I asked an older girlfriend about it and she gave me some tips. I learned to relax, and once I stopped worrying that it might be painful I began to enjoy it. By the time we split up I was having anal-only orgasms and asking for it at any time of the month.

Cassie, Anal Only Lifestyle forum

Continue reading this and other answers to this question on the Anal Only Lifestyle forum

It’s nearly the best time of the year again—after eight years in a row, No Pussy November still remains our flagship month each year to celebrate anal sex, the anal only lifestyle, and to encourage new people who aren’t yet anal only to challenge themselves to trying it for a solid month and seeing what it’s like.

If you’re new to the anal only lifestyle and you want to give it a try, this is a great time and way to do it! Talk with your partner now in advance of November and make sure you’re both on board with the idea, or if you’re single and want to try it with toys, get yourself to the point where you’re comfortable with anal masturbation on a regular basis—at least 3 to 5 times a week, if not every day.

If you’re already anal only, there are plenty of other things that you can try as a No Pussy November challenge this year!

• If you still use clitoral stimulation, you can challenge yourself to stop and focus purely on anal pleasure and anal orgasms. The more you go without your clit and rely on anal only to orgasm, the easier anal orgasms get!
• If you aren’t wearing a butt plug regularly, you can challenge yourself to wear one at some increased interval, or to spend the entire month plugged as often as possible. If you want to reach the latter goal but aren’t quite there yet, you could work yourself up to that point over the course of the month.
• You can challenge yourself to make ass to mouth a regular part of your sex life, normalizing it by doing it every time you have sex this November.
• You can start to introduce double anal to your sex life, either through play with two dildos, a partner and a dildo, or two partners.

Along the lines of that latter idea, for those who are particularly interested or experienced with double anal, we’re introducing an official advanced challenge this year: Double Anal Only November, where those who want to or are able to masturbate regularly with two dildos in their ass or have double anal sex regularly spend the entire month only having double anal sex every time they have sex. Naturally, this is going to be somewhat limited to people who have multiple partners who want to have double anal with them, but you can also participate by always using a toy along with their partner to achieve double anal, or by masturbating with a minimum of two toys in your ass at a time.

What are your plans? Let us know!