Article: How Anal Sex Saved Our Marriage

Childbirth wasn’t kind to me. The beautiful birth experience I had imagined for myself – in a pristine pool with serene music playing and essential oils burning with possibly some cartoon woodland creatures gathering to greet the infant – didn’t quite happen that way. There was a lot of screaming, tearing, forceps and painkillers.

The most important thing was that my son Jasper was born healthy and we were both OK.

But at my six-week check-up, I was still sore and certainly nowhere near ready to have sex again.

I know a lot of women say they don’t feel like having sex for months or even years after having a baby, but that wasn’t me. The mind was willing, but the vagina objected quite strongly. And my husband Dan told me every day how keen he was too.

My doctor told me to give it another few weeks and then to go ahead and try to have sex, using lots of lubricant and taking it super slow. Jasper was a good sleeper, so Dan and I planned a romantic evening to try things out one Saturday night. While I fed Jasper and put him down to sleep, Dan lit a load of candles, poured the wine and put on some mood music.

Everything was right, but when we tried to have sex, I ended up in tears. I’m not sure how much of the problem was physical and how much was emotional, but I just couldn’t entertain the idea of letting Dan anywhere near my poor battered vagina.

The next week I was searching online for a solution to my problem when I came across an article about a couple who discovered anal sex after they’ve had a baby. She said that, although she’d never tried anal before, it had become her favourite type of sex now, and that she no longer had to worry about doing her vagina any more damage.

Dan and I had dabbled in anal sex a few times before and quite liked it, so a light bulb went on in my head. I got quite excited about the idea and sent Dan a text message at work that said, “Anal tonight?”

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