Message: Never Aroused By Vaginal

Joe: Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for putting this website up. It’s helped me a lot with something that’s been a worry of mine for years.

When I was younger and becoming aware of sex I found that I was never aroused by the thought of vaginal sex with a woman. For a while I assumed that might mean I was gay, but I’m definitely only attracted to women.

Then when I started to have girlfriends this problem became worse. I’ve discovered that I find it very difficult to cum while inside the vagina. In fact, I almost never have! With all the girlfriends I’ve had so far I’ve always ended up pulling out and either finishing by a hand over her face or butt or having her finish me with her mouth.

At first girls seem to like the fact that I can keep going in their pussy for ages without cumming but eventually they get upset that I can only finish in their mouth or on their body and I think this has been responsible for a couple of break ups. It’s only got worse if anything because these days my anxiety about not being able to cum in the pussy makes it difficult for me to even stay hard or even stay aroused at all if I have to have sex that way.

I had a pretty sheltered upbringing and I guess I’m not very imaginative so I hadn’t considered anal as an alternative to my problem until I started watching more porn and looking for sex advice online after moving into my own place.

Do you think anal might be the solution to this issue? How do I go about finding a woman who will try anal with me?

I’m glad you found this website helpful in determining that there isn’t anything wrong with you for not enjoying or preferring vaginal sex. It’s a preference, like everything else, and there’s nothing wrong with not liking it.

It’s not uncommon to dislike vaginal and find anal much more enjoyable both physically and mentally, so you may find it the solution to your problem, especially if you have found yourself aroused by the idea.

I suggest looking for a sexually open minded partner and suggesting that you try anal, or try for a few hookups where you discuss beforehand that you want to do anal, and see how it goes from there. I also suggest reading everything in the Guide to Anal Sex and the Anal Only Lifestyle so that you understand good anal sex technique before trying it with a partner. Good luck!

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