I am new to the Anal way of life, but I enjoy it. My bf and I have been together for 2 years and stumbled upon the fact that it was something we both enjoy. Although we still enjoy vaginal use, it is only as foreplay like oral sex. My vagina has been relegated to foreplay only, mostly oral. I’m fortunate I get VERY wet so my bf will use my vagina for a couple strokes LITERALLY to get his dick wet and in my ass he goes, and we both are in heaven. I have even gotten to a place where I plug my vagina during sex like the average woman would her ass. My vagina is just not for sex anymore. For a quickie we use lube, because for us my ass is where we derive our pleasure and it works for us. He says he is not going back to vaginal only and I’m great with that. If we have not indulged in anal, for us we have not had sex that day. It was nice to find this forum to realize we are not unique in our preferences and that other couples have successfully enjoyed this way of life without problems or health issues.
Month: January 2019
With constantly increasing exposure to anal sex, through pornography, erotica, popular culture, and direct interaction and conversation with friends and partners, a growing number of people are exploring and enjoying it for themselves. And as more people try anal, more people find they prefer it and end up making it their primary form of sex, or even go anal only.
Everything suggests this trend is going to continue—if anal is objectively better and more enjoyable for most people when done properly, over time a majority of people are going to primarily or exclusively practice anal sex as their form of recreational sexual activity, and at some point, we will have the first anal only generation.
We’re already seeing a growing trend of women whose first sexual experiences are anal and who end up going anal only without ever having lost their vaginal virginity. Some started out with this as a means of birth control or for religious or cultural reasons, while others just prefer anal from masturbatory exploration and choose to stay anal only because being very sexually active and experienced despite always staying a vaginal virgin is a very appealing or enjoyable concept to them. I highly encourage this trend, and hope to see more and more choosing to do this. It’s also happening, perhaps at a smaller level, with men who choose to remain vaginal virgins in the sense of having never had vaginal sex with a woman and only wanting to do anal even from the first time.
However, past history or experience with vaginal sex doesn’t preclude someone from being anal only or being part of the anal only generation—it’s where you ultimately end up and choose to be a part of that matters. The majority of anal only men and women have tried both and come to the conclusion that vaginal is not for them and that their future is strictly anal only.
What about you, are you a part of the anal only generation? Will you forego vaginal sex going forward and start only doing anal? If you’re a virgin, will you go straight to anal only and not look back? And if you’re already anal only, will you help encourage your friends and others to try the anal only lifestyle for themselves? Share your thoughts, ideas, and efforts towards making the anal only generation a reality.
A Quora user asks:
I tried double anal because I’d seen it in porn and was curious. I have two bisexual male friends who were willing to try it with me. Quite honestly we could never get it to work. It was difficult for all three of us to get in a position where they could both penetrate me very deep. I decided it just wasn’t worth it. I think double anal is really more of gimmick for porn, somewhat like a circus trick.
While double anal is something that most people, even those who love anal sex, will never do, it actually is something that people do outside of porn, and isn’t just a “circus trick”. It takes practice and training to get to the point where you can regularly and easily do it, however, and have it be more than just a shallow, unsatisfying penetration.
There are women in polyamorous relationships with two men who practice double anal as a form of shared sexual activity. While they will at times do anal + oral together, they will also regularly engage in double anal, some doing it 3 to 5 or even more times per week.
Another Quora user responded with a similar statement:
Some people enjoy receiving double anal penetration. Some people enjoy giving it. Some people enjoy watching it.
Probably none of these are the majority, but there are many, very many people who do. If done right, it is very pleasurable.
I was in high school when Sex and the City premiered, and like many women of my generation and the generations that followed, that show taught me a lot about sex. Like, a lot: Things I didn’t even know existed were introduced to me every Sunday night—and one of those things was anal sex.
At the time, anal between straight couples wasn’t even on my radar. I knew that gay men engaged in it, but I held on to some pretty old-school notions when it came to why straight women would do it. Namely, as Charlotte put it so eloquently in Sex and the City’s “Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys” episode, “Men don’t marry Up-the-Butt Girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up-the-Butt?” Back in 1998 I agreed—and that statement was the first thing that came to mind when my college boyfriend suggested we do the deed a few years later.
Popular culture and popular attitudes like this towards anal are so unfortunate, making it the butt of jokes and dismissing anyone who enjoys it as some sort of slut or someone you might want to have sex with but would never want to marry. What a cruel and disgusting attitude to have towards people based on their sexual preferences. And it’s not even true: so many men want the same thing and would love to meet a partner who enjoys or prefers or exclusively wants anal sex. For all those who say they aren’t interested in an anal only woman, there are many more who say an anal only woman is their dream girl or marriage material.
Even though I was determined never to become Up-the-Butt Girl, I was in love for the first time and figured one encounter with anal wouldn’t put me in whatever category a future Mrs. Up-the-Butt might reside. The experience was, for lack of a better word, awful. It was painful and uncomfortable, and as I would tell my boyfriend afterward, it felt like I was “taking a backward shit,” if that were even anatomically possible. But on top of the physical discomfort, I also felt ashamed. It was humiliating that this was what he wanted and humiliating that I consented. What did this say about me? What other so-called deviant things would I consent to in the name of love? I didn’t even want to imagine.
And this is where the combination of preconceived notions spread by myths in popular culture and a lack of proper sexual education that includes good information about anal sex causes major problems for people. If she hadn’t already been negatively inclined towards anal, and had some knowledge of how to enjoy it properly, her negative experience and reaction would have likely been quite positive instead.
Even throughout my twenties, when I stopped taking such a hard line on what sex said about my character, I still didn’t really enjoy the few times I had anal sex and figured it just wasn’t really my scene. But then something happened in my early thirties. Perhaps it was the confidence that came with age and sexual experience, but I found myself having anal sex with someone I was dating and loving it. Really loving it. Though there was still shame—this time about enjoying it, rather than just engaging in it. It went back to what liking anal sex said about me as a woman. Was I dirty? deranged? Had I been dropped on my head as a child and this was the outcome of it, manifested decades later? It didn’t matter how many times I watched that Sex and the City episode in which Samantha praised anal—I couldn’t come to terms with it.
Though up to 25 percent of heterosexual men and women have tried anal sex, the taboo around it is often louder than the praise. It doesn’t matter how many stats come out on the topic, like how women who have anal sex have more orgasms (it comes with an orgasm rate of 94 percent, compared with the 65 percent from vaginal sex). It also doesn’t seem to matter that the majority of women who do engage in anal sex are well-educated with higher levels of income—information one might think would nix some of the negative stereotypes associated with women who enjoy anal sex. But, sadly, it does not.
Continuing education, exposure, and open positivity about anal sex is the key. It can be challenging, because people fear judgement from friends, family or even strangers, when speaking out positively about their enjoyment of anal sex or being anal only, but the reality is that many people are actually curious themselves, and judge out of their own fear and insecurity, but when faced with a friend who is positive and knowledgeable about anal sex, many people end up wanting to know more and are in a position to try it for themselves and see what it’s all about when a trusted friend can tell them it’s worth exploring and how to do it safely.
“Much stigma exists around anal sex, but for some women it is their arousal and favored erogenous zone,” explains Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of relationship blog You’re Just a Dumbass. “For women who know that they like anal and express it, we should [remind her] why she shouldn’t be shamed. She is simply making a decision for herself that she is interested in having better sex.”
And despite the alarmism, women who have anal are slowly but surely making their way into mainstream narratives. Lars von Trier’s 2012 film Nymphomaniacwas the rare theatrical release that included anal sex (actually, there wasn’t much it didn’t include, sexually speaking), which seemed like a small but important step. Then, in 2014, both The Mindy Project and Broad City had episodes about the act. In 2015’s I Smile Back, Sarah Silverman’s character has anal while cheating on her husband. This kind of exposure just solidifies that this is a sex move that people are engaging in, even if it’s still hard to talk about it sometimes.
This is certainly a positive change, and something we need more of. Popular culture is a powerful medium for opening people’s minds to things, and treating anal sex as the normal, equal sex act that it is, as well as having the opportunity for people and characters to even express their preference for it in future works of popular culture, will go a long way to inspiring more people to change how they think about anal sex and see it as a positive, beneficial, pleasurable, way to have sex.
It’s commonly known that many, if not most, men prefer anal sex and would choose to have it most or all of the time if they could. However, most men do not have anal sex most of the time—it’s a goal, an ideal, that they have a hard time putting into practice. Most men are sexually opportunistic, and if they have a chance for sex, they’ll accept vaginal even if anal is what they prefer.
With that complacency, however, in accepting something inferior that they don’t really want or enjoy as much, they miss an opportunity to introduce a new partner to the anal only lifestyle and to potentially enjoy a far more mutually satisfying sex life together. If their relationship lasts and gets serious, and she doesn’t ever want to do anal, while he wants to do it more and more, that initial compromise can lead to resentment and sexual incompatibility and dysfunction.
Similarly for women, many prefer anal and would like to live an anal only lifestyle, but find it hard to tell a partner that anal is all they want and fear judgement or rejection, and so often will give into what that partner wants instead, even if it’s vaginal sex that they can’t enjoy or orgasm from.
Ultimately, a relationship isn’t only about sex, and you have to decide whether the whole of the relationship makes up for a lack of anal sex or anal exclusivity for you, but sex is a big part of life for most people, and you should seriously consider whether you want to live without the anal sex you need most.
Chances are, you should be standing up for your need for anal sex. Don’t ever force anyone, but make it clear early on in a relationship that you aren’t interested in vaginal sex and that you’re anal only, and stand up for your principles. If your partner shows interest or curiosity or is even just willing to try it for a while, that’s a great sign. If they flat out refuse and don’t want anything at all to do with it, that’s probably a sign that you aren’t going to be very sexually compatible, but sometimes it’s possible to compromise at first and gradually ease them into the idea further over time. The viability of doing so depends on just how much you’re willing to compromise. And if that compromise doesn’t work, you may not realize until far enough down the road together that once you know they won’t be into going anal only, you have bonded enough on other levels that breaking things off is more difficult.
In closing, if an anal only relationship is what you need, be open, honest and genuine about it, and you will find other people who are into the same thing, or are curious enough to try it with you.
Reaching out for a little advice from the community… My girlfriend (26F) and I (26M) have been together in a monogamous relationship for a little over two years and she has insisted on only anal + oral since we started having sex.
We have talked about having vaginal sex and agreed that hormonal bc is not an option. Non-latex condoms would be the next reasonable thought but that discussion brings hesitation with breakage, failure rate etc. She gets off on toys and fingers but will not do PIV due to her concern of getting preg (nothing medically wrong, no history of abuse, mentally sound etc.). The confusing part is that she loves to rub and tease the head of my bare penis all over her labia and vag opening without full penetration (but pretty close!) AND have unprotected anal sex.
I know I may come off a little bit selfish being a straight Male with natural desires, expressing that I would like to partake in PIV protected sex with my SO. Her actions and reasoning are contradicting which lead to dead end discussions with the closing words of “…one day I will want to” however in the end I of course respect her choices. I am comfortable with our current sex life, but often left desiring PIV intimacy.Girlfriend wants [anal only] on Reddit
This is a scenario that sounds like it could benefit from a shift in thinking about the nature of anal sex and intimacy.
The girlfriend doesn’t want to do vaginal sex because she’s afraid of getting pregnant and so wants to be anal only instead. That’s fine, but she makes it sound like she ultimately does want vaginal sex eventually and is just doing anal only in the meantime.
Meanwhile, the boyfriend seems to think that he can’t be truly intimate with his girlfriend until they have vaginal sex, and sees anal as something less intimate. However, many anal only couples find that anal is in fact significantly more intimate for them than vaginal ever was, and say that it brings them closer together as a couple.
They should simply choose as a couple to go forward with anal only and not worry so much about vaginal anymore. If their relationship lasts long-term and they eventually want to have children, then they can have vaginal sex until she gets pregnant, before returning to anal. Ultimately, anal sex is the better choice for everyone, you just have to wrap your head around the idea first and both be on the same page about it.
Anonymous: The more a society becomes respectful to women, the more anal will become popular among them. If men were more patient, empathetic and worried about the women’s pleasure, we would be an Anal Only World nowadays. It’s an obvious consequence.
The less respect, trust and care shown towards them, the more likely a recipient of anal sex is going to have bad experiences with it that turn them off trying anal further, so I agree. If patience and education about anal sex were more prevalent, more people would be doing anal more often and more people would find they prefer anal and be open to going anal only.
Anonymous: I just discovered my sister is Anal Only too. It’s so fucking weird! I never imagined that it could happen. Should I talk to her about it? We’re both married and almost 40 yo. We stopped talking to each other a long time ago for a stupid reason but now we’re trying to solve our issues and get along.
How did you discover that she is also anal only? Did it come up in conversation in some way as you’ve been talking with each other again? Or did you discover it more coincidentally?
If it’s a topic you feel comfortable discussing with each other at this point, then I would definitely talk about it and share with her that you’re also anal only, if she doesn’t already know that. It might be an opportunity for bonding and mending your relationship over a mutual lifestyle choice, figure out how the both of you ended up there, and having someone to confide in.
As for how two siblings might both end up anal only, genetics could influence physical preferences at one level, as could one’s upbringing. I’m curious to hear more as you know more about what led to the choice for each of you to go anal only.
For a lot of people, anal sex is simply more work than vaginal sex. You need anal training when you’re getting started. You need to maintain a healthy diet or use douching or enemas to ensure clean anal sex. You need to follow a regular schedule of anal sex to stay in shape so it remains easy, or frequently wear butt plugs and masturbate with anal dildos. You need to ignore any vaginal cravings you might have and work to shift your arousal and focus to your ass. And if you’re going for a strict interpretation of anal only, you need to do the same with your clit and only stimulate yourself anally.
But though that can seem daunting to someone just starting out, or feel like it could get in the way of the ease, simplicity and spontaneity of sex some might be accustomed to with vaginal, it’s nowhere near as bad as it could seem. In fact, some of the greatest benefits of the anal only lifestyle come in part from the fact that it’s more effort.
Going Anal Only Can Increase Intimacy and Trust With Your Partner
By working together with a trusted partner to prepare for anal sex and go anal only together, you end up growing your mutual trust further. By its nature, anal sex is a physical connection in the most private and intimate part of the body, and if done wrong it can cause a lot of pain, so trust is a huge part of anal. By going anal only, you’re not just doing it on occasion, you’re making it your primary sexual activity and often enjoying it an average of 3 to 5 times a week, if not more often, so the positive effects on trust and intimacy are huge if executed properly. Couples who go anal only very regularly report how it brought them closer together as a couple and helped boost their intimacy and trust, and cite that as a major reason for going anal only.
The Exclusivity of Anal Only Makes You Stand Out From the Crowd
Even though the anal only lifestyle has been growing in popularity over the past decade, it’s still a relatively niche choice that many people haven’t even heard of, let alone tried for themselves. Over time, that will no doubt change, and this blog continues to advocate for everyone out there to try it for themselves, but as it is it remains relatively uncommon relative to the global population.
Because of this, and because of the effort involved to get to the point where you can have anal sex multiple times a week, if not daily, without ever doing vaginal, it sets anal only people aside as something different and special.
Most any girl can have vaginal sex easily, but it still takes a special woman to do anal every time instead, and that can be something to be proud of and something that makes you stand out as extraordinary. It can always be a great way to attract guys, who may prefer anal to vaginal and be interested in a partner who also prefers or exclusively does anal.
Anal Pleasure is, Quite Simply, Better than Vaginal
With the initial investment of anal training and getting to know the ropes of how to warm up for anal and any hygiene practices you need for your full enjoyment of anal, there has to be a worthwhile payoff. And boy, is there ever.
It’s almost universally stated between women who have tried anal more than a few times and know how to do it without pain that the pleasure from anal is far more intense than vaginal, and that anal orgasms are similarly more intense and pleasurable. Once someone goes anal only for a while and is able to get past any initial challenges, it’s extremely common to simply not go back to vaginal, because anal is just that much better.
Buttlyn: Brazilian girl, 20, dysfunctional pussy. Hello again. Did you remember the advices you gave to me the last time I got in touch? I want to thank you ’cause for saving my sex life. Anal only is becoming my main fetish (something I did not even think about is now reality) and my husband is so fucking happy! I still vanilla but now I’m extremely more eager to have anal sex. We bought a 6.5 and a 3.2 inches dildos (both with suction cups), a butterfly vibrator and some soft BDSM stuff. Now I can finally masturbate myself anally using my only functional hand. I also realized that I like to simulate ménages with my dildos, so… it’s a bonus! I’m feeling myself so free, so delighted! I’ll even try to wear my buttplug – I always hated it but now I’m excited enough to make it happen. Let’s see how far I can go. I don’t know why but… having more than one “dick” to fuck my butt makes me feel slutty and jumpy! I just hope that it doesn’t screw up my relationship.
Thank you for everything! I’ll keep you updated. You don’t need to answer this message in your blog if you don’t want to. Just cross your fingers and send me good vibes, okay?
Congratulations, and thank you for the update. I’m so glad to hear that the information was helpful and you are able to better enjoy sex and masturbation now! With any luck, it will just keep getting better for the two of you!