Discussion: Prefer Anal Over Vaginal Sex

That’s the topic of a thread over on WeddingBee, where a user asks:

I am just curious if others prefer anal over vaginal sex..I was diagnosed with having uterine fibroids which cause me to have bad cramps and pain everyday plus I am going through menopause so I have vaginal dryness..When we start foreplay I am fine but not long after I dry up so I much prefer anal cause it seems to feel better plus I can orgasm…I thought about using creams for the dryness but kinds concerned of the affects from the creams…Anyone else experience the same problem and prefer anal?

I’ve heard similar stories many times, where with age, pregnancy, or as the result of various medical conditions, women find vaginal sex becomes very uncomfortable, unpleasant, or even painful, and turn to anal for continued intimacy, pleasure and sexual expression, finding it far more enjoyable and quickly coming to prefer it.

Of course, anal already has a lot going for it even without an inability to enjoy painless vaginal sex, but for those unable to have vaginal, anal provides a welcome alternative.

While some of the responses are positive and supportive, or even curious, others are very opposed to the idea and spread false myths:

The back door is an exit only. It is not meant for that kind of… attention. So take special care. A surprising number of people end up in the ER due to anal sex mishaps. I don’t see why you wouldn’t just use lube. It’s not as if your anus is self-lubricating, so I assume you are already using lube. Anyways, if you like it, that’s fine but vaginal lubes are perfectly safe.

It’s time for this myth to die. Anal sex will not cause you to end up in the ER. And she’s not using lube for vaginal because she, in her own words, says that she prefers anal. Good grief.

Some others do share a similar preference, however.

Yep! It is actually what I started with.. and did for years, so I came to prefer it. It hurts doing it the “regular way” -_- Of course, it can hurt also if you don’t take certain obvious precautions lol..

I love it, probably more than vaginal sex!! My fiancé isn’t as keen but he complies 😉 I’m a bit weird, I love the feeling afterwards, I like the pain, like he’s left his mark hahaha! I’m sick I know

And others comment on the judgmental attitudes expressed by some:

Wow, there’s a lot of judgy folks on here! Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s inherently “gross” or wrong. There’s lots of sexual activities that I’d admit don’t interest me, but have large followings for other people who DO enjoy them.

I really like anal, and we do it pretty often, but not all the time. I have to be in the right mood for the intense pleasure it offers. It’s certainly not “only an exit” (as evidenced by all the people who LIKE it an an entrance!) nor does it guarantee a mess all over your partner (has never happened to me in 6 years of anal). I don’t do any special preparation other than usually only doing it if I’ve already “emptied” earlier that day 😉

It’s all about what makes you and your partner feel good! If all parties consent that’s all that matters.

All told, however, it shows the persistent and pervasive myths and negative attitudes towards anal that many people hold, and which need to continue to be countered by positive accounts and honesty about what it’s really like when done properly from those who enjoy it.

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