Message: She Says People Aren’t Meant To Do Anal All The Time

Anonymous: It would be my dream to do only anal with my (soon to be) wife. We’ve been together 6 years and I feel like I’m done with vag sex. We do have anal and it’s perfect, but I’d be much happier with 100% anal and I know she could too. What I can’t get over is she enjoys it but even when I try suggesting a trial period (as you recommend) she says that people aren’t meant to do anal all the time. I’m stuck and out of ideas. What can I do or say to change her mind so she sees this as a good thing?

Talk with her more about it. Ask her why she thinks people aren’t meant to do anal all the time. Presumably she either gets sore afterwards due to the infrequency of the anal she receives, or she’s worried about various myths and misconceptions that spread fear of injury or long term damage from frequent anal sex.

If she gets sore, doing it more often will help with that, as will more warmup and butt plug wear before sex and on days you don’t do anal.

If she’s worried about damage or injury, that has more to do with not being warmed up enough or not using proper technique. Experienced people can have anal sex every day for all their life and never have any health issues as a result.

There are couples out there who have been anal only together for decades and there’s no issue. It’s very much possible, and I would argue people are meant to do anal all the time, because it’s so much more natural and pleasurable for everyone.

Feel free to follow up once you have more of an understanding of her hesitations to the idea.

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