Month: August 2018

Message: Anal Only Orgasm Denial Is Driving Me Crazy

Anonymous: I’m practicing anal only orgasm denial (didn’t know anal only August was a thing until today!) and I decided to challenge myself. Today, I wore a thick, penis-shaped plug to work. I still have it in as I write this and it’s making me so wet feeling a cock up my ass in public. I feel like I’m squirming at my desk and it’s driving me crazy. All I can think about is the fullness of my ass, the emptiness of my pussy, and I had to tell somebody. I’m losing my mind (in the best way). ?

Thank you for sharing! Having a full ass and an empty pussy is an amazing feeling, isn’t it? That feeling right there, along with the increased pleasure and arousal from being anal only, as well as better opportunities for intimacy and more, are why so many go and stay anal only, not just as a short term challenge, but long term. It really is a much better way to be.

Message: What Makes Anal More Suitable For Sex?

buttsnboobsntitfucks: Thanks for the fascinating and informative Tumblr. As a massive anal fan myself (but only occasional indulger, unfortunately), what is it about anal to you that makes it more suitable than the vagina for making love? I personally enjoy both, but due to my obsession with the female ass, would love to enter an anal only relationship one day. I am curious as to what makes you tick as far as why anal wins. Thank you 🙂

It’s always been a natural preference for me, I’ve been more attracted to a woman’s ass for as long as I can remember. After trying both, I much preferred everything about anal as well.

Aesthetically, I think it’s a lot sexier and inviting. Physically, I think it feels better and allows for deeper penetration. You can cum inside it all you like without any concern about pregnancy. It’s a more intimate form of sex. It requires more effort at first but then the reward is so much higher, so it’s a slightly more elite form of sex—anyone can use their pussy and it doesn’t really mean anything, but being anal only takes more commitment. It’s sex and pleasure and intimacy without any procreative baggage. It gives women far more intense orgasms and pleasure than vaginal can. For a woman, it’s taking control of one’s body and saying “no, even though biologically my vagina might be intended for sex, I choose what feels better and reject my vagina”.

You might want to also read a classic post on this blog, The Many Roads Leading to the Anal Only Lifestyle, which discusses some of the many different reasons people find anal only so appealing.

Message: How Deep?

Anonymous: How Deep?? I watch videos with super long dildos that don’t seem to have any problem getting past the colon. When my wife pegs me, I can only take 6″ before it hurts to much to go deeper. Can you injure yourself going deeper? She can take all of me about 7″ but its uncomfortable when all the way in. I can take a large butt plug so girth is not an issue. What advice do you have for us. We both want to have deeper anal play. We LOVE your blog!! You have inspired us to go AO and we love it.

For the majority of people, anal sex takes place within the rectum. To go deeper than the rectum requires going past a bend into the sigmoid colon. Trying to push something straight or rigid past that point will result in pain and could cause injury if not properly prepared for it.

To do deeper play, use a long and flexible dildo. The 18″ double-ended dildos are a good option for this. It shouldn’t be terribly thick to begin with. Slide it in as deep as it comfortably will go, and then try adjusting its angle and rotating it gently while applying pressure—not enough for it to hurt, but enough to feel the pressure. Eventually you should feel it pop through the bend. With practice, you can do this to straighten out that bend temporarily through warming up with a smaller and more flexible dildo and then work up to something bigger and/or more stiff.

As with any new anal frontier, go slow, take your time, listen to your body, avoid anything that hurts significantly, and stop and take a break for a day or two if you experience any signs of injury.

Message: My Friend Group Is Going Anal Only

Anonymous: I thought you’d like to know that among my group of 5 close friends, 3 of us are now anal only. I don’t know if we’re unusual because we share a lot about our sex lives but I started telling them about anal only when I first tried it last year and there was a lot of interest. 4 of us have tried it now, the 5th still holding out but she likes it up the ass, and 2 + me have gone all the way. Hopefully in time all of us will get there and maybe we’ll get some more too! Thanks for your inspiration.

That’s great to hear, and really inspiring! It’s always wonderful to hear from anal only people who have shared their love for anal and how great an experience being anal only is with their friends and acquaintances and in the process encouraged them to try it for themselves as well. I think it’s an excellent way to continue growing the anal only lifestyle, with the real people who really love it talking openly about it with others and encouraging and helping them to try it as well. Not everyone will necessarily like it, but introduced to it properly, most will!

Keep it up, keep encouraging your other friends, and be on the lookout for more opportunities to help introduce new people to the anal only lifestyle!

Message: I Hate Your Speech Against Clit

lonely-cute-boy: i allways liked anal sex,is so diferent and forbidden, dirty and wrong… Now i absolutely hate vaginal penetration, specially because of pregnancy consequences. But i have a severe problem with this AO community that dont let me join the thing: The strong misogynistic speech within the community. Some of you says horrible things against the female genitalia, and scorn the core of womanhood. I like to consider myself AO but i also love oral (cunnilingus). And i hate yours speech against clit.

I’ve gotten messages from you for years across my various blogs, usually containing extremely hateful language and death threats/encouragements to kill myself. So I don’t owe you any response at all and the only reason I’m even acknowledging this message is because it’s the first in all that time that warrants an actual response that might be beneficial to the other followers of this blog.

Understand that not all blogs are alike and while there are certainly those with a misogyny kink, none of those are mine nor are they endorsed by me. And while I do encourage people interested in the anal only lifestyle to also experiment with clitoral denial and see what the benefits of it are for themselves and then decide whether it’s something they want, it’s certainly not a requirement for the anal only lifestyle, and I would say that the majority of anal only women enjoy a combination of clitoral stimulation and anal penetration. There’s nothing wrong with that if it works for them.

My encouragement to go without clitoral stimulation is due to certain benefits for some women who can suffer from a sort of depression and serious loss of arousal post-clitoral orgasm, as well as the fact that focusing on just anal stimulation without any vaginal or clitoral stimulation, it is often possible to unlock increased forms of anal pleasure and learn how to orgasm from anal alone. So the intent and focus here is in developing increased pleasure, not denying pleasure.

If you enjoy performing cunnilingus and clitoral stimulation on women alongside anal sex while excluding any vaginal penetration, that’s still consistent with the anal only lifestyle, so long as your partner wants the same. The fundamental “rule” of anal only is that you don’t engage in vaginal intercourse. Everything else is up to your own personal interpretation and what works for you and your partner.

You’re accusing me and others of saying horrible things about the female genitalia, but you yourself opened this message by saying that you hate vaginal penetration. Now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that—I’m not at all a fan either—but it’s a bit hypocritical to say that and then accuse others of being hateful by saying they don’t like clitoral stimulation. Women aren’t just their vaginas or their clits, they’re people. And people are complex. Some might agree that their vagina or clit is their sexual/pleasure center, but others are going to much prefer their ass getting all the attention. You have your preferences. Recognize that other people, men and women both, have their own preferences as well and they may differ from your own, and that conflict doesn’t make the other people evil or hateful, nor does it justify your own hateful reaction.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

tenderlyfoulphantomYes, it is sad and a little bewildering that so much AO (and just A) stuff is permeated by miscogyny. It should be about pleasure, not pleasure through inflicting pain. There can be an air of the forbidden without expressions of hatred and pain.

To which the following response was given:

I’d argue that the majority of AO content online is not that way at all, but there are some blogs that focus on that aspect of things. But understand too that it’s a kink and fantasy for the vast majority who post such content. There are those of all genders who appreciate it for that kink. Just because you and I aren’t into that aspect of AO doesn’t make it wrong so long as it’s consensual. We can just choose to not follow those blogs.

Message: Makeshift Dildos

Anonymous: I’m interested. Problem is I don’t have any toys, and no boyfriend. What should i use as a makeshift dildo for now?

Start with just your fingers. Add some lube, massage around your anus with a finger, rubbing across it and around it in circles, let yourself get into it and relax. As it starts to want to open up a bit more, slide one of your fingers inside and move it in and out a bit. Keep adding another finger as you feel yourself relaxing further and wanting more. If something hurts, go back down in size again. It might take multiple play sessions to go up in size. Listen to your body and go at a pace that works for you. Once you can fit three or four fingers with relative ease, then you would be ready for something more.

A cucumber and similar vegetables can make for a reasonable makeshift dildo if you don’t have anything better available. Wash it and make sure it doesn’t have any sharp points on it before trying, and if you have a condom available, try putting that over it as well. Some make do with small bottles as well. But real dildos and butt plugs are best, as they’re designed to go in your ass, so I would recommend getting some.

Good luck!

Message: Is She Open to Doing Ass To Mouth?

amaizegmanI have this FWB who asked me some time ago to only take her in the ass, which I am gladly doing. During our last session she took my hand and languidly sucked on the finger I had used to warm her up before. That made me wonder whether she is open to doing ass-to-mouth. I am kind of apprehensive about directly asking her. Do you have any experience on how to create the opportunity for her to do it without appearing pushy? I would like to leave the choice to her, for personal and erotic reasons.

Sounds like she would be, as that seems to have been a rather deliberate act on her part to suck the finger you were using to warm up her ass. I’d suggest just presenting more opportunities for her to choose to do so going forward. Make your fingers available to her in the same manner, and have your cock near her face at times in between having anal sex so she can suck on it if she chooses to do so. And if she does, then you can just start naturally making that a regular thing.

Message: Alternatives to Lube

Anonymous: I’m freshly 18 (so still live at home and don’t have a job yet), im also a virgin so excuse the dumb question. since I’m unable to buy proper lube could I use baby lotion?

Unscented lotion can work. Avoid soap or shampoo. Coconut oil, shea butter and similar also work. Vaginal juices and saliva are also an option.

The original poster followed up:

the lotion I have is Johnson’s any lotion with shea & cocoa butter, is this safe to use?

It should be okay, but I would suggest trying a small amount first and gently rubbing it into your anus and then waiting a few minutes to see if there’s any sort of burning sensation from it. If not, it should be good to use. At first glance it seems to just be some oil with shea and cocoa butter mixed in, so it should be fine.