Message: I Want to Make My Wife Happy, But I Only Want Anal

Anonymous: Since the last 4-5 years since I’ve been following anal only blogs it’s become clear to me that I’m attracted to ass and not pussy. I worship my wife’s ass but we only get to have anal sex about once a month which drives me crazy. I don’t think she understands and it’s not easy getting aroused for vaginal sex. I feel like I’m letting her down but at the same time feel like anal is something I must do. How do I reconcile these conflicting needs? It seems impossible we can both be happy.

Preferring anal and being more attracted to a woman’s ass than her pussy is not a particularly uncommon thing for men, especially those in the anal only community. But it’s a lot more common than many let on to, especially because of the continued stigmas of anal or of some people’s inability to understand a heterosexual man not being interested in pussy.

Why do you only get to have anal once a month? Is it not something she enjoys? What have you tried together in terms of anal? What are her issues with it? Pain? Discomfort? Lack of pleasure? Some other issue or concern? Start there, and figure out why she doesn’t want to do it more often. There are solutions to most of those problems if she’s open to trying gradually and with a focus on her pleasure and enjoyment. Communicate with her, and share how important anal is to you and how sexy her ass is for you, and how you want to be able to share that together, and then ask and listen to her if she has concerns about doing more anal and try to work together to find something mutually beneficial.

Most people don’t end up anal only immediately unless it’s something they themselves are also very into. Anal only relationships often evolve over time to that point, so don’t think that you have to just suddenly be anal only, it can also be a goal to work towards through a gradual shift towards more anal.

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