Message: She Loves It, But She’s Afraid

Hi..
Me and my wife are going anal for a while now but after every session she tells me that she is not enjoying it and she prefers vaginal sex to anal although every time i hint that we may have anal today she cleans herself and prepare for it and she try make sure that we have sex on that day and when we do after i relax her ass she bounce on my dick hard tell i cum..
We are really open and communicates a lot but i think she is afraid of going anal only or thinking she’s a slut how can i make her open to me and speak about her true fillings

It sounds like she is communicating her true feelings by telling you that she doesn’t enjoy it, but she keeps doing it for you anyway. Instead of ignoring that, I would suggest that you talk about what you can do to make it not be painful for her and to feel good for her and see if she’d be more interested in doing anal if you can get to where it’s something she really enjoys. Make it about her pleasure and make sure she knows that you want her to enjoy it a lot and feel good too and she may be more open to the idea.

And then, actually work together to figure out what she needs from it for her to enjoy it. Figure out what hurts or is unpleasant about it for her. Is it actively painful during? Is she sore after? Or is it something else? More practice and warmup, more lube, or a changing of the frequency of how often you do anal (whether more or less frequent depending on circumstances) can help overcome most issues with anal pain. Get her warmed up, turned on and relaxed. Rim her ass for a while before—it feels good, builds anal arousal, and really helps to relax her. Give her orgasms during anal sex as often as you can. Do everything you can to make it a really enjoyable and pleasurable experience for her. You already know you love and prefer anal sex, so if you want to do it more often with a partner who also enjoys it a lot, focus on her pleasure.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

alwaysanalblog: He’s most of the way there: He has a wife who honestly talks about her feelings and will still satisfy his desires for anal even though she doesn’t enjoy it as much. A wife prepared to meet a husbands needs regardless is a treasure who should not be ignored. Women are more wired to please but this natural tendency must not be pushed or taken for granted.

All I would add to the above advice is to rim her ass A LOT, not just a while. It’s the #1 factor in both turning a women on to anal and relaxing the anus for penetration.

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