Message: Virgin Interested In Anal

Anonymous: Hi I’m a girl and a virgin and I’m interested in anal but I don’t really know how to get started. I also wanted to know about anal orgasms if it’s not too much trouble to ask. I also really like your blog!

Hello, and thank you!

The key with anal when starting out is to start small and slow and gradually build from there. If something hurts or feels uncomfortable, back off and try more slowly or with something smaller.

The anus doesn’t self lubricate much for most people, so you’ll want to add some sort of lubrication whenever engaging in anal play or sex. Real sexual lubrication is often best, though you can experiment with other things—natural vaginal lubrication, saliva, coconut oil, etc.

Most people are naturally fairly clean in their rectum except right when they need to go to the bathroom, so long as they have a fairly balanced diet. A small, quick flush out with warm water using an enema/douche bulb or a squeeze bottle of some sort can be used to flush anything else out if you want to make sure you’re fully clean. Small amounts is key here, you don’t want to use a large volume of water and get it beyond the rectum, which can end up causing more of a mess.

To begin with, just try a lubricated finger. Rub gently around the outside of your anus and across it, until you feel yourself relaxing and opening up a little bit, then slide it gently inside. If it hurts, back it out and rub outside again before trying again. Repeat until it’s painless. Once one finger feels totally comfortable, try two fingers instead, and keep repeating as desired. Spreading your fingers apart can help stretch the muscles for the next size, too.

Once you’re comfortable with several fingers, you might want to get a dildo and a butt plug to start using. Butt plugs are fun to wear around in general, but also as part of masturbation or during other sexual activities, and they provide a sort of passive stimulation and training/stretching. Dildos are, of course, more active and can be used for anal masturbation.

As far as anal orgasms go, everyone’s a bit different, but the same principles apply for any sort of penetration-based orgasm—as you explore anal penetration and stimulation, see what positions, angles and depths feel particularly good to you and feel like they might be able to grow into an orgasm, and focus on repeating that, building the sensation towards an orgasm. You can also of course combine anal penetration with clitoral stimulation for a different sort of orgasm, which tends to be far more pleasurable than just your clit on its own, though if your goal is an anal only orgasm, clitoral stimulation can interfere/distract from reaching that point. Anal orgasms often take more time to reach but are also often more rewarding.

Hope that helps some! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

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