Message: Toys to Start With For Anal Masturbation

Anonymous: I want to anally masturbate (female) , and I want to know which toys I should start with.

If you’re just starting out, your fingers can be a good option. Put some lube on your finger and rub it gently around the outside of your anus, alternating in circles and across the entrance but without pushing inside, increasing the pressure as you feel more relaxed. When you feel yourself starting to open up a little bit, try pressing inside with the finger. If it slides in easily, start fingering in and out slowly at first, feeling for angles and depths that feel good and picking up speed as you’re comfortable. If one finger is easy, or once it gets to that point, try sliding a second in alongside, then a third. When and if you can do this easily and regularly, then consider a toy.

From here, you have a couple options. Dildos are great for active masturbation with an in-and-out motion and depth. Starting with something fairly thin, perhaps a bit thicker than three of your fingers put together, is a good way to go. You don’t want to go too small, but you don’t want to go too big at first either. Material is a bit of personal preference here, some people like rigid toys, some like soft/flexible toys. Go with silicone, glass or steel to ensure quality, safe materials, whatever you choose. You usually want something with a good wide base to avoid it getting “lost” inside. Anything with balls or a suction cup on the end should be good in this regard.

For more passive stimulation and training, a butt plug is a great choice. There are a lot of styles, and some are better for long term wear while others are more short term or decorative plugs. Jeweled plugs are popular but may not be comfortable long term due to the shape of the base. When selecting a plug, make sure to get one that isn’t too small—these often won’t stay in place on their own very well, and keep slipping out. A wide internal “bulb” and a narrower neck is a good option for comfort and staying in place.

if you have a local sex toy store, a great option is to go in and see them in person to judge the appropriate size and shape for you. Hope this helps some, and feel free to ask any more questions you might have.

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