Month: September 2017

Message: Advice Please

Hi.. I’m writing from clansmancro’s profile as his girlfriend/sub.. We are more than 10 years together but in anal only relationship for last one year.. Therefore, my question is about it.. Since my digestion is not reliable, having anal session needs a lot of preparation before and that is often not enough to be completely carefree and clean..
My problem is that everyday going to toilet is not enough, I probably have so called ‘lazy’ intestines… I have tried all sorts of things but nothing helps.. Do you have any useful advice which will make this easier so we can enjoy anal sex without thinking about what the if there’s something left?
And i must tell that we enjoy in some hard anal games so jus regular sex is not always our goal…

Talk to a doctor for advice on more regular, reliable digestion, but a few basics include gradually increasing your dietary fiber intake if constipation is often the issue or trying something like immodium to stabilize a bit more. A small enema/douche can help clean yourself out without being too involved or time consuming like a full, deep enema. Wearing a butt plug when not having sex can also help keep yourself stimulated in that regard and help things move along.

If doing harder/deeper anal play, the deeper enemas may be your primary solution, however. They’re an essential staple for deep play, generally.

Message: Anal Only Is Just A Fantasy, Right?, Part 3

Hi, it’s again the girl from before – your answer made me think a lot, and actually changed my mind. At first, my boyfriend being OK with me trying vaginal sex with another man was an offer I was tempted to take (even if I didn’t know how to handle it), but after reading your answer again and again and pondering, I realized you’re right: where’s the hurry? I’m very young, still at my first sexual experience, there’s no reason for me to multiply partners or do everything at once.

For now, I’m with someone I love and I really get along with (and whom I desired for a long time), he’s been amazing in making me discover sex, and I’m really satisfied. You’re right that him taking me anally for my first time (especially since he didn’t warn me before) and ignoring my pussy and clit since made me think I was not “really” a woman yet and that vaginal was something I was yet “to do”, but now I realize it’s sort of silly to think that way. Now that I do anal sex regularly and that I think about it spontaneously when I think of sex, that stigma is going away. It’s especially true since I followed my boyfriend’s advice and I don’t masturbate with my pussy or clit when I’m by myself any more, just anally (we don’t see each others as frequently as I’d like, we don’t live with each other yet). Looking back, the idea of “cheating” on my boyfriend just for a matter of which hole is penetrated seems sort of selfish, and I’m a little ashamed of having considered it.

I also understand what you mean about “reversing”. When we argued, my boyfriend said: “if we were doing vaginal, you wouldn’t harass me to do anal, wouldn’t you?” and of course he’s right. I feel like treating vaginal sex and clitoral stimulation as weird and taboo and talking down about it, while anal is treated as natural/normal/obvious makes my boyfriend really hot, and, I guess, makes you hot too? I admit that now that I understand him better, I find it sort of hot too.

Reading more about other messages on your blogs, I also realized I was in a situation that made me very special in the eyes of my boyfriend. When I asked him if being a vaginal virgin turned him on, he told me that obviously it was fantastic for him, especially since he was the only partner I ever had, and it made him at least “50% harder” when he fucked me! I now feel special, naughty and pure at the same time, and I’m starting to like it. I’m so proud to be his girlfriend. Thank you!

That’s great to hear! It’s good that you were able to come to terms with the idea and realize that having vaginal sex or using your pussy and clit sexually isn’t what makes you a woman, and that you can be just as “womanly” in an anal only relationship. There are women out there who have never had vaginal sex their entire lives, and they certainly aren’t any less of a woman for it.

It’s also good to hear that you’re starting to see the appeal yourself, and that it’s turning you on as well to think about it. That’s how it should be—fun and appealing to the both of you. If it wasn’t, if it was just one-sided, the I would be more inclined to suggest that it may not be the best option for you, but since you are very much enjoying it physically and are now enjoying it mentally/emotionally as well, by all means stick with it. If it stops being fun, you’re always free to reconsider, of course!

It sounds like you’re both in for a great time now that you’ve gotten through this and worked it out. Do feel free to continue updating if you have anything more to share or ask!

Message: My Girlfriend Loves All Things Anal

Anonymous: My girlfriend loves all things anal; she always prefer my attention to be on her ass. If she is blowing me, or I am fucking her pussy, she always makes me finish in her ass. She loves anal so much that is has started to become fixated in mine. Just last night, she fucked me for an hour with a 7 inch dildo while denying me an orgasim. At the end, I was ready to explode and she made me finish in her ass again. It was actually really enjoyable

Sounds like she loves anal so much she’d enjoy going anal (and oral) only. Why not suggest it to her? If she wants you to finish in her ass when you fuck her pussy, she’d probably enjoy having you in her ass the whole time even more.

And incorporating anal play on yourself as well would make an anal only relationship even more fun for the both of you, probably. Thanks for sharing!

Message: Fade Away

Anonymous: Some advice to the woman whose boyfriend is pressuring her to be anal only. I’m a woman who enjoys both vaginal and anal, and they’re great when both partners respect each other. But it sounds like your guy is being selfish. Personally, I’d let the relationship fade away. Just gradually spend less time with him each week, until he leaves. And then find a man who treats you as an equal. They definitely exist, and make much better partners 🙂

If someone feels pressured to do things they don’t want to do, then of course it is plausible that there is sexual incompatibility and they are better off looking for other partners. However, it often is not that clear cut, and it’s absolutely just as fair that he doesn’t want to have vaginal sex or be pressured into it either. Not wanting vaginal sex is not selfish. It sounds like he made his needs and requirements clear, and would understand if she didn’t want the same. He even offered an alternative if she wanted to try vaginal even though he has no interest in it himself.

I’d also advise against the fade away. It’s far better and more fair for everyone to actually communicate and if you decide to end things, have the decency to be up front about it.

Message: Anal Only Is Just A Fantasy, Right?, Part 2

I’m confused and I have some more questions, so I’m contacting you again, as you offered. I followed your advice, I accepted that my boyfriend was into anal sex only, and I stopped bugging him about vaginal sex. I do enjoy sex with him more and more, I now can take his whole length without too much preparation, and he doesn’t have to move as slowly and cautiously as he used to.

He also gifted me an easy to use, small anal douche that I can carry around in my bag everywhere and hide into my bedroom (I live at my mother’s place). I use it as he advised me to, and thanks to that I’m much more comfortable with the idea of anal sex because I always feel clean now, even if having rather frequent enemas felt very weird at first.

I admit I’m feeling less and less the urge to have “normal” sex and I’m not even sure what I’d call “normal” sex any more, but that’s physically. Psychologically, the fact I’ve never been penetrated vaginally is starting to weigh on me more and more, especially now that our relationship is getting really serious. So after two weeks of avoiding the subject altogether, we finally had an argument about it: I told him I needed to know what vaginal was like and reproached him for never even taking care of my clitoris, and not only that, but when I touch it myself during sex, he always gently takes my hands off it, telling me I’ll enjoy sex more if I instead learn to focus on him and what he’s doing to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love him, he’s a very good lover, his advice was always good and I always followed it (he’s much more experienced) and it’s true not touching myself brings me more pleasure, and he does worship and bring joy to every inch of my body… except for my “cunt” and “nub”, as he says on the rare occasions he talks about them.

Then, he basically replied that he couldn’t change his sexuality, that he thought my real problem was I wanted desperately to conform to what I perceived as the majority since I admitted I wasn’t physically frustrated, and that he respected that I wanted vaginal and clitoral experience, but I’d have to take a lover for that. I pressed him on this, and he did say he was OK with me taking a lover so I can have more experience and decide if I’m OK with what he has to offer or not.

So now I don’t know what to do. I love him but I want more experience, but I don’t want to cheat on him, and everybody in town and college knows we’re dating each other, so if I’m looking for a lover, I’ll get the reputation of a slut. But I don’t want to break up with him. I even wondered if I should talk to his ex girlfriends for advice, since he probably fucked them in the ass too, but it’s silly. Help.

It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend has any desire to have vaginal sex, ever. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you want to try it, you’ll have to decide what’s more important to you—your relationship with him and staying anal only, or doing vaginal with someone else. I can’t really offer a suggestion as for him offering that you can try vaginal with a different partner, that’s something you’ll need to work out with yourself and him and decide whether you want to go outside of your relationship to try vaginal sex.

I will say, however, that you don’t need to try everything all at once. You’re enjoying anal sex with him, having more pleasure with less vaginal/clitoral stimulation. You may also try changing your mindset a little bit with regards to your vaginal virginity. Am I correct in interpreting that part of the challenge for you is thinking of yourself as still a virgin in some sort of stigmatized manner because you haven’t had vaginal sex, and wanting to be rid of that? In contrast to that sort of “traditional” thinking, a lot of anal only people have flipped that concept around and instead value vaginal virginity and vaginal abandonment as a very positive and appealing and attractive thing, not out of old ways of thinking that favor a woman’s “purity” before marriage or anything like that, but just because it’s hot to reverse vaginal and anal so completely that a woman chooses to be so fully anal only that she hasn’t ever bothered with vaginal. If you can see and understand that somewhat and try thinking about it from that perspective, it may help you avoid your frustrations about it.

Also recognize that not having vaginal sex now doesn’t mean you can’t ever try it in the future. If you commit all in to anal only now, you can still change your mind at any point if you find that it isn’t actually satisfying to you or that you do in fact want to try vaginal sex. As I said before, ultimately it’s up to you, and while you can’t dictate what your partner wants to do (just as he can’t dictate your desires to you), you always have the ability to change what you want to do at any point in life.

To reiterate, from my biased-in-favor-of-the-anal-only-lifestyle perspective, it sounds like you’re enjoying being anal only with him, you just don’t want to commit permanently to it right now. Instead of worrying about that, just enjoy things as they are and see where they take you. Stay anal only, learn everything you can about pure anal pleasure and avoid developing a dependency on your clit, and if down the road you feel a strong need to try vaginal, then reconsider. Give anal only a chance for a few months or more at least, would be my suggestion. If the need to do vaginal persists or gets stronger and you find yourself resenting being anal only, then continuing along that path is probably not appropriate for you at this time. If any vaginal urges and thoughts instead fade away, then stick with being anal only. That’s just my perspective, which as I noted, is very biased in favor of being and staying anal only.

I’d suggest talking with some other anal only women and men as well, and getting other people’s perspectives. Try joining the Anal Only Lifestyle forum as well as our new Anal Only chat on Discord. There are other anal only vaginal virgin women on both sometimes, as well as just a number of anal only people with varying amounts of vaginal experience. Share your experiences and concerns and get feedback from them too.

Message: Started Playing With My Asshole, Felt Amazing

Anonymous: Hello, so yesterday I decided to start playing with my asshole a little bit to see how it feels like, first it was just rubbing the whole then inserted the tip only. Today I tried to insert my toothbrush and it felt so amazing that I think I might turn to an anal slut. Do you have any tips or instructions to Follow for this process ?

Good for you, taking the initiative to pursue your own greater pleasure through your ass, and wanting to become an anal slut as a natural result of that. It’s no surprise, once you experience the greater pleasure your ass can provide, there’s no turning away from it.

Stop all vaginal masturbation/fingering and replace it with anal. Stop playing with your clit, for now at least, as well. Instead, masturbate anally only and try to orgasm with just your ass. If you find that you aren’t able to after a few days, you can add your clit back in as well, but only when there is something in your ass, and only the minimum needed to supplement your ass and push you over the edge to orgasm. Better to pursue the far greater pleasure of pure anal orgasms, though.

Start with small anal insertions, like your finger, your toothbrush, a hairbrush handle, etc. Slowly work up to larger things. Eventually use a natural size dildo. Get yourself some butt plugs to use as well both to help relax and train your ass, and to keep your ass full and your thoughts and focus on your ass and the resulting arousal that comes from having it filled.

Stick with it, and you’ll be anal only in no time.

The original poster followed up:

So I continued my anal training today and as I was doing some chores by the afternoon, I felt like my asshole had a pulse and it’s like it was throbing, so I remembered my anal training again and got aroused just by thinkin abt it

It sounds like you’re a natural for anal only, and once you awoke your asshole, it’s come alive and is demanding more. Give it attention all the time, stop using your cunt and clit, and it will repay you with endless pleasure.