Anonymous: Hello! I’m trying to expand my sexual limitations I’ve had my whole life – starting with anal. I’m curious to how I should start off playing with my ass, and what objects / toys I can use at home. Could you help me out?

That’s great to hear, I’m sure you’ll come to thoroughly love it if you approach it right!

First, you can just start with your own fingers. Explore the outside of your anus for a while while masturbating, rub against it with a lubricated finger, and when you feel comfortable, slip one inside. Masturbate to orgasm while fingering your ass. Start doing this regularly. When one is very comfortable, add a second finger. Keep adding fingers as you feel ready to do so.

After you can fit a few fingers easily on a regular basis, try something else. Proper sex toys like dildos and butt plugs are best, but people often make do with small bottles, hairbrush and tooth brush handles, and the like, when starting out with anal play. Be careful, though, objects not made for use as legitimate anal toys have a chance of getting lost inside, so take care to avoid that if you do any sort of play with a household object.

the-pleasure-of-modern-sex: Overpopulation in the world is a fact. It causes climate change and therefore it is devastating to us people and all the organisms on earth.

Each of us can prevent this event from being sexually motivated, The best solution is to move only to anal and mouth sex.

Anal is a new vagina, because it can be enjoyed by both sexes, as well as all gender minorities.

It is in itself absurd that some think that anal sex is a taboo, against this thinking we Have to work and give the right anal sex education.

No sex form is 100% hygienic, or painless at first. But doing anal sex is 100% more enjoyable than traditional vaginal sex, and
Just as well done it is a 100% pregnancy prevention form.

Save the world go anal only ❤??

Hello. I had my first sexual experience very recently, with an older boy I have a huge crush on (smart, funny, sexy, incredibly good-looking)… it started great, but after foreplay, he put me on my stomach, spread my legs, and started licking my ass hole.

It wasn’t unpleasant, so I didn’t say anything, and after that, he started fingering me, then he finally shoved his cock into my ass. He was very slow and gentle and it didn’t hurt, so even though it felt really weird, I didn’t protest, but the next few times we had sex, he still focused on my ass and ignored my actual sexual organs. It was feeling better each time and I could take his cock better and better, but I finally asked him why he didn’t have sex the regular way.

He acted very surprised, arguing that a woman’s ass was also a “sexual organ”, that anal sex was as “regular” as vaginal penetration, and that in his experience anal was just better, and the only way he wanted non-reproductive sex. He did talk about your blog (I think it’s this one), saying people in general were now naturally having anal sex to avoid contraception, and because it just felt better and made more sense.

I read your blog a bit, and most of it is a fantasy, right? Anal isn’t actually as standard and “normal” as you’re suggesting in some posts and as he’s saying?

The concept of anal only and the anal only lifestyle, however, is not a fantasy for many people, myself included, it’s our actual preference and how we choose to have sex. Is it a majority of people? No, but a growing number of people are choosing to be anal only. You can check out and join the full community if interested at the Anal Only Lifestyle forum and chat.

I will agree with him that a woman’s ass is just as much of a sex organ as her vagina, that anal sex is just as normal (even if not necessarily as common yet) as vaginal, and I share his experience that it is better.

That said, it’s ultimately up to you as well whether you want to take part in the anal only lifestyle. You have just as much say in it as he does, though you’ll have to accept that he will likely be uninterested in having vaginal sex with you. You shouldn’t take that as anything against you, it’s just that his preference is to be anally exclusive, and that’s how sex with him is going to be. If you’re okay with that, then carry on. If you aren’t, you and he may not be sexually compatible.

My very biased recommendation is going to be to stay anal only with him for a while and continue to explore it if you’re currently enjoying things. You’ll enjoy it more and more the more you do it, and you’ll get to enjoy the many benefits of anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. It can’t hurt to commit to it for now, and of course you can always change your mind down the road if it isn’t working for you. Ultimately, though, it is and should be up to you what you do.

Anonymous: Do you think anal sex should be discussed in health education classes? I remember being told as a kid, in class that anal was wrong and all these other misconceptions, even though anal is super awesome! I just feel bad that a whole generation is being exposed to rumors and misconceptions!

I think it should, along with everything else. Anal should be treated as an equal sex act and should receive the same attention, talking about it, its risks, and at the very least, proper technique to avoid injury. People are going to try it, and everyone will be better off if they are better informed about how to do it right when they do try it.

Throughout the course of various conversations with people interested in or practicing the anal only lifestyle, I frequently hear from submissive women who love the idea of being anal only as an expression of that submissiveness, but who either only want to do it with a partner who wants them to do it, or who are afraid to call themselves strictly anal only (even though it’s what they want) because they feel like it’s not submissive to express their own desires in a relationship.

Being submissive is only one part of your identity, and it’s entirely reasonable that you will have your own additional desires and limits, and expressing them is not just acceptable within an adult relationship—it’s desirable. You can still be submissive within a pre-established framework of mutual interests and guidelines. It’s healthy to discuss these sort of things up front so everyone knows what you do and don’t want to do. If being anal only is one of those limits for you, it is entirely fair to be up front about that with new partners.

You don’t have to simply take whatever your partner wants for you as someone submissive. You’re a partner within the relationship as well, even if you choose to take on a submissive role sexually, and you should be sure that your needs are met as well, and if being anal only is one of those needs, talk about it with prospective partners early on.

Anonymous: Hi, it’s really inspiring that you’re so dedicated to your ass. I’d like to have anal sex more often, and it’s my dream to wear a butt plug everyday. You have so much experience. Do you have any tips about keeping empty and clean? I’d greatly appreciate it.

dumbandpretty: Thanks! Well, dreams only come true if you work for them. Buy a beginner size plug and start wearing it as often as you can. Push your limits, gradually work your way up, and before you know if you’ll be taking cocks in your ass like a champ. As for keeping empty and clean: if you eat well (a balanced diet) and recognize that your butt is where all your waste leaves your body (i.e. that no matter how much effort you put in, there will be times when you’ll encounter feces) and try to bathe/shower before anal, it’ll help. You can also go one step further, which is what I occasionally do: enema kits are widely available and simple, if uncomfortable, to use.

Update December 2018: While this still hasn’t been written in book form at this time, we do have a new section on this blog that somewhat serves this purpose in an early form. Visit the Anal Sex Advice & Guide to the Anal Only Lifestyle page.

I want to write a book about anal sex and the anal only lifestyle. At this point, this is nothing more than idea, but it’s been at the back of my mind for a while and I want to bring it to the front and start doing some work on the idea. It would be both a guidebook to anal sex in general and to becoming and staying anal only, as well as an overview of the concept of anal only and why people should try it and what its advantages are.

Is this something people would be interested in if it existed? What sort of things would you like to see included in the book? I’m seeking any and all suggestions at this stage!

Anonymous: Kinda tmi and idk if this is the right blog to ask but you give really good advice and I really like anal. I cant do it often tho because I pretty much always have poop in my rectum, like permanently when you stick a finger in and idk if thats normal or not. I only poop like once a week and need to fully enema before every time I have sex anally. I sometimes have to just do vaginal because its too much trouble but I much rather prefer anal.:/

Not a problem, I’m always happy to offer anal advice, and it’s anal sex, so questions and discussion about poop are kind of to be expected!

I’m not a doctor, and you might talk to one if you find this to be a problematic situation for yourself, but I can offer suggestions to try. Generally, most people’s rectums stay empty except right before going to the bathroom when they get that urge to go. That feeling is poop leaving the colon and entering the rectum.

Where this can sometimes not be the case is with a diet that isn’t quite balanced right, doesn’t have enough fiber, etc. This can lead to poop that the body has a harder time managing and processing and moving along. So you might look at your diet and see if it could be a factor. Read through this recent thread on the forum and see if anything might be appropriate for you. Definitely avoid adding fiber too rapidly, though, you want to increase it more gradually.

Exercise can be a factor as well sometimes, it helps keep you more regular if you’re exercising daily.

Anonymous: As a girl with a tight budget and not much anal sex experience (other than masturbation ofc) what is the best and safest way to clean your anus and insides? And is it harmful to me since I have irritable bowel Syndrom to engage in such acts? Because I do get the best orgasms from anal sex, and my partner sure loves it to.

First, figure out if you need to clean at all. A balanced, high-fiber diet is usually the best way to be clean and ready for anal sex. Your rectum stays pretty clean naturally most of the time, and you may not really need to do anything. Wearing a plug or using a dildo before having sex can both help warm you up and give you a chance to check and make sure you’re clean for sex.

If you do still want to clean yourself out beforehand, you don’t need much. Just a small container with a nozzle to put warm water inside and squirt into your rectum. You don’t need much water and you don’t want to go too deep with it, just enough to clean the rectum without getting water beyond into the colon. You can pick up a fleet enema or even a vaginal douche at a pharmacy and use it (just for that purpose, obviously)—but you only need to use warm water with it, nothing more.

As for IBS and anal, I admit that I’m not sure. I don’t think it will cause you any trouble, but you should assess that on your own terms and approach it slowly at first, increasing frequency if you find it’s going fine and doesn’t cause any problems. I know there are people who manage to do anal play and sex regularly despite IBS, so it seems like it can be managed. I say, if you enjoy anal so much more, go for it and figure out how to make it work for you.

Anonymous: I wore a butt plug for 15 hours (with short breaks) and I’m so proud of myself. My friend suggested that I go up a size so now I’m looking for a new plug/set to train my asshole with

Congratulations! I agree, you’re probably ready to try a larger plug. Do note however that you’ll find you will probably need to start slower again with the larger plug and may not be able to take it for quite as long just yet. And you’ll probably find that sometimes you’ll want the smaller plug still too for longer periods while working up to the bigger plug being comfortable longer too.

If you’re looking for specific suggestions on a plug, I’ll need to know what plug you have currently and/or what its insertable dimensions are to recommend something appropriately larger.