Anonymous: hi, I have been trying to do anal for some time but I couldn’t do it so far because I am so tense and can’t relax when i try to do it.I really want to do it specially when I watch anal porn. do you have any advice for me or a porn clip that will make me loosen up and relax even hallucinate and dream about it. thanks

I don’t have any specific porn recommendations—just watch lots of anal porn and continue to get inspired.

Start small, with just a lubricated finger while watching anal porn, relaxing, and playing with yourself in other ways that feel good. Massage your ass with the tip of the finger and keep trying to slide it inside a little bit, then back out. Repeat until you can fit the finger in. Once one finger is easy, try it with two, etc. and by continuing to gradually go up in size like this, you can get to the point that anal sex will be easy.

Anonymous: My boyfriend put it in my pussy without warning nor my consent last night after YEARS of not even fingering my pussy. It hurt so badly and was very unpleasant. I’m pretty damn mad at him, and not even anal masturbation would take the pain and discomfort away. This sucks.

I’m sorry to hear that. You need to have a conversation and tell him why it wasn’t okay that he did that. Whatever your preferred sexual acts are, abrupt deviation from the norm generally needs to be preceded by a conversation to avoid situations like this. And if you are anal only, it was wrong for him to engage in vaginal sex with you without talking it through and getting your consent first.

Anonymous: So I’ve been anal only with my girl for about two months now, we both love it!!! Yesterday she tells me she wants to start pegging… Is this normal for anal only girls to want to do? I feel like it’s something I should do because I pressed her so hard to go anal only, and I do enjoy a finger or two in my ass so maybe it won’t be bad

There is no “normal”—if you’re not interested, you don’t have to try it, and if you are then you should feel free to experiment further with it. Anal play can be very enjoyable to receive for both women and men.

Anonymous: Is it weird that when I touch myself I can only cum anally? Like if I touch my clit as all I can’t cum? I’m not anal only but anal is like my biggest turn on I wish my boyfriend would touch me there more but he’ll only do it when I really beg for it its like he’s the only guy in world who doesn’t love anal

Not too weird—it sounds like you’re just anally oriented and need to avoid using your clit and pussy and just focus on what can make you cum—your ass.

It’s more weird, in fact, that your boyfriend doesn’t want to do anal. It seems like he doesn’t know what he’s missing.

Anonymous: I always thought that anal would really only be good for the guy so he can get off, and the girl would just be laying there. However, that myth has been busted for me! Did anal last night and I came soooo hard, it hurt but it felt SO GOOD. ?

the-art-of-oral: yassss, good to hear success stories 🙂

-Becca