Message: Boyfriend Thinks Anal Makes Him Gay
Anonymous: I’m a 20 year old female and my boyfriend is 22. I suggested anal only as a lifestyle I was interested in. He thinks anal is gross or that it makes him gay in someway. Do you have any advice on how to convince a boy to at least try anal with me?
First of all, I’d suggest temporarily backing off the suggestions to be anal only if he’s starting with hesitations towards any sort of anal. Start by just trying to get him to try anal play and eventually anal sex with you. For that, I’d suggest a two-pronged effort.
First, talk with him. Explain that you really enjoy anal and would like to enjoy it together. If you find it more pleasurable than vaginal, tell him that too. Explain that there are ways to clean yourself out before having anal sex (though this isn’t always necessary for everyone, of course) to ensure it’s hygienic. Reassure him that there’s nothing gay about a man having sex with a woman, regardless of what form that sex is taking. Gay men have oral sex with each other, but you don’t see very many men refusing to receive a blowjob from a woman because it’s “gay”.
Second, start doing more anal play on yourself if you aren’t already. Get a butt plug if you don’t have one and start wearing it around him, including trying it during vaginal sex with him. In this way you can both compromise in some way and enjoy some anal play while you’re together even if he isn’t directly involved in the anal activities, and you can visually demonstrate to him your continued interest in anal and hopefully help to sexualize that area for him over time by wearing plugs and playing with yourself anally around him.
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