Month: November 2015

Message: Going Anal Only If My Boyfriend Is Up For It

lonelygirlfantasies: I have issues with cumming from vaginal sex and I always thought I was weird for it. But because of that, I’ve thought about trying out anal only for awhile if my boyfriend is up for it. Thank you for helping me realize I’m not weird.

Not at all weird—in fact, far more common that most people admit to, I think. A lot of women can’t cum from vaginal, and can often cum more easily or more powerfully from anal + clitoral stimulation, so anal only makes obvious sense for practical reasons alone.

Good luck with giving it a try!

Message: Will Jeweled Plugs Work For Anal Training?

quietsilentloveThanks so much, I didn’t know about the push while I insert something so that’s a new bit of info. Also will the jewel plugs work too I keep reading mix reviews on them about long term wear. Or should I stick with a softer material? Or should I just buy one of the kits that has the three different sizes? And do you have a favorite lube you prefer?

Jeweled plugs can look sexy but are often not comfortable for long term use. They also have a very narrow neck, generally, so once they’re inside they’re not doing much to stretch and relax the anus itself. Perfectly fine to have one as a sexy accent, but I wouldn’t use it as a primary training tool. Some of the training kits can be fine, but I find that using fingers to train instead is easier and then invest in a good mid-sized plug instead that you’ll want to keep using for a long time.

Lube is a bit of a personal preference. There are plenty of good water-based lubes, silicone lube can be great but cannot be used with silicone toys, and coconut oil is popular with a lot of people.

Message: How to Let Him Just Push Right In?

quietsilentloveI’m wondering what I need to do to get to the point of just lubing up then having my Dom just push right in. We have been successful twice but when it starts to hurt we do other things. Just not enough time to take time for anal. Anything I can start doing at home to achieve being able to get down to business a little faster?

Frequent practice and training. Get a good small/medium butt plug like the Tantus Ryder (1.5″ diameter at the widest) and wear it regularly, while masturbating, during other sexual activity, and sometimes even just around the house. If you have difficulty inserting that, or any object, go through a few minutes of warmup first, starting with one lubricated finger, then two, then perhaps three depending on the size of what you’re trying to insert. Once you get the warmup process down, wear a butt plug before you have sex for half an hour or so and you should be relaxed enough for easy penetration.

Anal play and butt plug wear also can help you to develop greater conscious muscle control which makes relaxing at will much easier. Practice doing so on your own by pushing out as if going to the bathroom while pushing something inside. The anal sphincter is naturally tight when relaxed, so you have to “flex” it in order to loosen it.

Start Small and Work Up In Size for Anal

Anonymous: My boyfriend really wants to try anal but I’m nervous because he is well above average (over 6 inches in girth and over 8 in length) how would you suggest building up to that?

dollyvisha: I suggest toys that start out small and that work up to a size similar to your boyfriend’s size, if not exact. Heading over to an adult store or looking around online for some toys would be a good idea. 🙂

Training that gradually increases in size over time is essential to enjoyment of anal for most people.

Message: Attempting an Anal Only Pregnancy

Anonymous: My amazing wife and I are ready to make a baby… And we are both incredibly turned on by the thought of her getting pregnant from cum that has dripped out of her ass. (We only have anal intercourse but she sometimes likes to put a bullet vibrator in her puss – and frankly I like it as well – so we can’t quite say we are AO). Any thoughts on how we can get our ass baby? We are also discussing pulling out of her ass right before so I can shoot into her puss.

First, the main aspect of being anal only is just a lack of vaginal intercourse in favor of anal intercourse. There are people who consider themselves to be anal only but who may use a dildo or vibrator vaginally. I tend to lean towards no vaginal penetration at all, myself, but I also respect other people’s interpretations and variations on the theme.

I’ve certainly heard of women getting pregnant from semen running out of the anus. It’s nowhere near a common occurrence when done accidentally, but perhaps if done deliberately you could control the factors more to allow it to be more likely. I imagine you may need to use some sort of toy vaginally to open her up enough to “catch” your semen when it runs out, and you’ll probably need to experiment with it multiple times to figure out the best way to make it work, but that just means you get to have lots of anal sex!

Finally, as appealing as the idea is of an anal only couple having children without vaginal sex, if you aren’t able to make it work, vaginal is completely appropriate within the anal only lifestyle for reproductive purposes. That is, in fact, what it’s for. It’s just less effective than anal for other purposes, like pleasure. So if you need to have vaginal sex until she gets pregnant, don’t feel as if you’re breaking some anal only rule. Don’t let that keep you from trying other approaches first, either, though.

Message: A Huge Step

currently-unsupervisedI’m really impressed with your reply to the vaginal abandonment anon. I first read her ask and thought, “Damn that’s hot” but you’re right, it’s a huge step. I think it’s awesome that you warned her to be careful instead of egging her on.

I think that orgasm denial and/or clitoral abandonment can be very fun things for people who approach them in a fully consensual manner and want them for themselves, but you’ve got to make sure it’s really what you want, and I don’t think it’s ever good to dive straight into something like that without easing into it through a trial period or ten.

Message: Why Shouldn’t I Play With My Clit During Anal?

boredinbangkok: I love anal and prefer to have my asshole penetrated. But why shouldn’t I play with my clit at the same time? This anal slut is curious to learn 💋

So that you can focus solely on the sensations from anal without distraction from other overpowering sources like your clit, and so you can attempt to learn to orgasm exclusively from anal.

Not everyone ends up enjoying anal without clit play, and that’s perfectly fine, but I do think it’s something that everyone should try for a while after they’re already comfortable having anal sex on a regular basis, just to further explore anal sex on its own.

Total denial of clit play isn’t the only fun thing to experiment with, though—you might also want to give edging and ruined orgasms a try, as they also pair well with anal sex.

Ultimately, it’s about different types of fun and pleasure and trying new things. If it sounds interesting, give it a try for a while. If not, keep on enjoying yourself the ways you currently do.

The original version of this post on Tumblr received the following response.

milkyandthegentlemen: He sometimes tells me to play with my clit when he fucks my ass. I like to make him happy, but the reality is that is not something that I do. The feel of him in me is so intense, And he is so skilled, I swear he has discovered a second G spot in my butt. Why in the name of God would I waste my time diddling myself when that’s going on?

I ❤️ anal sex. At least, I do with him. I’m a little bit afraid to try it with anybody else for fear it won’t be as awesome.

Message: Giving Him My Clit

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I went “Anal Only” nearly 2 years ago thanks to sites like this one really fueling our fantasies. Recently, he told me he wants us to do complete vaginal abandonment. I’ve never been able to cum without touching my clit, so it was difficult for me to consider, but the more I read, the more I wanted to do this for him. So, for Christmas this year, I’m “giving him my clit”. And letting him know that even if it means I’ll never have another orgasm, I’ll never touch my clit again.

If that is truly what you want to do, and not just something to make him happy at your expense, then great—go for it. But if you still have hesitations about it, I’d strongly suggest going for a trial run instead, or working towards that goal gradually, through training to try and develop the ability to orgasm from anal penetration.

Complete vaginal and clitoral abandonment can be a hot fantasy, and can work for some people, but isn’t something everyone should necessarily do if it doesn’t work for them. Work towards it gradually and/or give it a trial period. And even then, leave yourself the option of not doing it if it doesn’t work for you. Ultimately, the clitoris is separate from the vagina anyway, so you’ve already engaged in vaginal abandonment. You playing with your clit doesn’t really affect him in any way—he already gets to have anal sex with you every time. If he wants you to be able to orgasm from anal alone, he should be willing to work with you to try and see if you can reach that goal together, rather than wanting you to just cease all clit stimulation.

Edging Towards an Anal Orgasm

deep-and-lovely: I’m going to see how many times I can edge without coming in one night.

Or how long it takes me to come from fucking my ass only.

deep-and-lovely: It went better than expected.

Edging multiple times worked for me. It only took me about… 7 or 8? I lost count but I think it was 8. After that I put my hands AWAY from my clit and focused entirely on the toy fucking my ass, and I felt the orgasm build up. It was a very peculiar orgasm, not as powerful as I’d like, but I think that’s because it was my first using this “technique”

I wouldn’t consider it a purely anal orgasm, but it’s a solid first step. If I can stretch the time after when I stop touching my clit, It should be really easy to push myself to orgasm through ass fucking alone.