wheel-chair-girl: I’m almost anal only but enjoy having him enter me vaginally right before his orgasm. I have intense impregnation and pregnancy fantasies and it’s exciting to me to be anal only during sex but his orgasm should happen in my vagina. Usually he pushes inside my vagina for just the final thrusts before he ejaculates. That’s exciting to me. Just wanted to introduce myself 🙂

Thanks for sharing! That’s an interesting variation on anal only, perhaps somewhat related to the idea/fantasy of the vagina’s only use being for reproduction, where he fucks your ass for both your pleasure but then switches to your vagina at the end to “impregnate” you.

Anonymous: I’m a f and I’m really scared to have anal. Does it hurt because I heard it does.

It can hurt if you aren’t prepared for it, but if you do prepare, practice, and actually want to do it, it shouldn’t hurt at all. Don’t just suddenly try it with a partner, read up on how to enjoy anal and explore it on your own with your fingers in the shower, or with some toys. There are a lot of good resources online, so read a number of different viewpoints on best practices for anal and you’ll be well on your way to enjoying anal.

Anonymous: My bf loves to fuck my pussy. Should I anally service him more? Should I just beg for anal every time we have sex? Should I beg him to try my ass only for a fortnight? Please tell me how to be a better anal slut and help him appreciate my ass more.

Let him know that you’d enjoy having more anal. Communication is always a good start. You can suggest trying No Pussy November (coming up in just a week) with him. Wear butt plugs around him and when you have sex so he knows you like having something in your ass. Helping others appreciate the joys of the anal only lifestyle is a very positive thing!

I love these anal-only blogs!

I am a 35 year old woman in the UK and I went anal-only 5 years ago. I haven’t had many partners and when I was 30 I started dating an older man. I found his maturity much more to my taste, he was (& still is) more of a gentleman, taking care of me in ways that my two, much younger previous partners never did.

I have never had much vaginal sex due to suffering from vaginismus, which had always required a lot of patience to achieve penetration and led to men generally not bothering, particularly as I learned to give good head!

The first time I saw my older partner’s penis, I knew it was going to be a difficult – he was considerably thicker than any penis I’d ever previously managed to fit in my vagina, and that was even after hours of muscle relaxation. He did take his time and  persist though and I managed eventually to squeeze his glans in, but God, was it painful! I had to ask him to stop and offered to give him oral to relieve him. However, he said he actually preferred anal sex and why didn’t we try some, as it couldn’t be any worse! I’d never had anal before, but the idea was not abhorrent to me, so we gave it a go.

To my ever-lasting surprise, my anus opened for him almost too easily & in honesty, it hardly hurt at all, though it did feel a little unusual! For the first time in my life I had really vigorous sex and I absolutely loved it!

Afterwards, we talked about it and quickly decided we would be anal-only – he said he’d done lots of anal sex and had never experienced someone being able to accommodate him so quickly; I must, he said, be a natural!

It’s so much easier for me – no painful penetration, no need for birth control and he can take me hard whenever he wants me! I really don’t know why I didn’t try it sooner, I have never looked back from that day and it has changed my life.

I have also discovered bondage – I love to be tied for sex! My man trains my anus every night with metal stretching plugs, and I go to work every day with a glass penis buttplug in – he wants me to have what he calls a ‘brown-gina’, to turn my anus into a sexual organ, and I admit I’m very excited by the idea of that; the secret knowledge that the hole between my cheeks has two uses!

I guess my only problem is that I’m not really able to talk about it and that’s why I’m submitting to this blog. If anybody wants to write to me, I’d love to correspond – my name is secretlisa and I’m at mail.com

Anonymous: I’ve been fucking my ass with a dildo for an hour and fifteen minutes and all day I’ve had 0 pussy touching. I have 30 minutes before I have to go out so I’m really hoping I can cum from the anal pounding soon. ): ): D:

Good luck, but if you don’t manage to cum, don’t give in and play with your pussy! You can stick with it, and the more you do the easier it will get, the more aroused you’ll get, and the better an anal orgasm will be once you do have it.

perfectioninathighgap: What can my master and I do if we’re in the beginning stages of anal only but I still have strong desires and urges to play with my pussy. Do you have mantras/tips to help get my brain in check?

Practice over time is going to be key here. It’s hard for most people at first, and you just have to consciously stick with it. Even if the urge to play with your pussy is there, making the effort not to will over time make it easier to resist. Start trying to think of your pussy as something not used for sex and replace it with your ass in your thoughts, and that will also help over time. Whenever you feel you should play with your pussy, masturbate anally instead. Train yourself to associate that feeling of need in your pussy with getting anal stimulation instead, and the need will start to shift from your pussy to your ass.

It’s nearly that time of year again, so start making plans! If you already enjoy anal and going anal only is something you’ve thought sounded interesting but haven’t tried yet, this is the perfect opportunity to give it a one month trial run and see how it goes before making any bigger decision about it.

Those who are already anal only could choose some other variation on it, such as going the month without clitoral stimulation, or only edging clitorally with no orgasms unless they come from anal.

Those who do not yet have experience with anal can take the opportunity to train and practice over the course of the month with fingers and toys, working up in size until you’re ready for anal sex.

As always, feel free to ask any questions along the way or share your plans and progress!

Anonymous: I’ve heard opinions from women on both sides of clitoral stimulation. Some need it to maintain arousal, while others become more aroused without it. I say, whatever works for each person. If you need clitoral stimulation and ruined orgasms to maintain your arousal and interest in being anal only, you should stick with those and enjoy. But it probably wouldn’t hurt to every now and then experiment with some time away from your clit as well and see if things are still the same.

dumbandpretty: You bring up a good point. Without experimentation, pushing our limits, we never grow. A perfect example is anal sex; before I started this blog, I’d never even thought of letting a man put his dick in my butt. Now, it’s the only kind of sex I have (with a minor exception which I might elaborate upon later); I don’t even masturbate vaginally/clitorally any more. So maybe I should try abstaining from touching my pussy (clit included) altogether; not even ruined orgasms for me–if it doesn’t come from my butt (no puns, please), I don’t get to experience pleasure.

Anonymous: What’s your take on going “ANAL ONLY”. Would you do it? would you recommend it? I’ve been considering it.

mysexualhaven: Hmm, it’s such a commitment.

Anonymous: Thanks to your blog and reading about all these other couples trying out anal only i’ve finally “come out” to my wife and confessed that its anal that i really want. It went down better than i dared to hope and shes said shes going to give it a try. I’ll do anything to make this work – so what lubes or positions or whatever will give us the best chance of success? I didn’t expect such a positive response from her but all the same want to do everything i can to ease her transition.

Congratulations! I wish the two of you luck and enjoyable experiences.

Lube is a very personal choice. Just about every lube out there has a number of people who prefer it above all else. Your best bet is to just try some different ones and see what you end up liking. Most of them will work fine, though there are advantages and disadvantages to each. Coconut oil is popular with a lot of people lately, but there are many water-based and silicone lubes that are good as well. (Note that silicone lube cannot be used with silicone toys.)

As for positions, many can work for first time anal. Spooning is fairly relaxing for anal sex, but cowgirl and doggy can both let her move while you stay still at first to help her control depth and angle.

Before you even try having anal for the first time, however, you should be enjoying anal play together for a while, starting her off first with small anal penetrations and slowly working up in size until she can comfortably fit something the size of your penis. Fingers make a good starting point for anal play. Start with one lubricated finger (be sure to trim and file your nails first!) during vaginal sex, or while eating or otherwise playing with her pussy. Gently move your finger in and out of her ass, stopping if it hurts for her until the pain fades and then starting to move again. Incorporate anal play with that one finger regularly into your sex life, playing with her ass as often as the two of you are both up for it. Try to always combine it with other stimulation she enjoys, especially at first. If possible, give her orgasms as often as you can while she has something in her ass. This will both amplify the strength of her orgasm and further develop the association of her ass being filled with pleasure.

When she feels very comfortable with the single finger, try adding a second. Take as long as she needs (it could be many sessions) between size increases, and back down for a while before trying again if an attempted increase causes her pain. Keep going until she can fit three or four fingers regularly. Each time you start a new anal play session, start back at the single finger and work back up in size to warm her up. The anus is a muscle, and a more sensitive and delicate one than most, so warmup is vital to painless penetration at larger sizes.

Once she’s easily handling multiple fingers during anal play, try some toys. Get her a butt plug, or several of a few different sizes. Don’t start too small with these, or they’ll quickly become useless as she becomes more accustomed to anal penetration. I’d suggest starting around the 1.5″ diameter point, with something like the Tantus Ryder, which is a good quality silicone plug and is very comfortable to wear, and will remain a useful toy even in the future. A dildo around the same size might be useful as well for practice before trying sex for the first time.

When she’s finally ready to try having sex with you, go through a normal warmup session first, maybe even giving her an orgasm beforehand to try and relax her more. Let her guide herself on to your lubricated penis. If at any point it hurts, she should just stop in that position and wait until it fades, then keep going, slowly working her way onto you until you’re fully inside, then pause again until she adjusts to you being inside her. She can then start moving, slowly at first, building up a rhythm. You should stay stationary throughout this initial process, letting her go at her own pace. After a few minutes, once she’s more used to it, you can try starting to move yourself as well.

The essentials: lube, warmup, training, and clit stimulation.