Month: September 2015

Ruined Orgasms and Anal Only

Anonymous: Are you continuing to go without complete orgasms, ruining them when you have them? If so, are you finding that this continues to be a key to successful anal only for you?

dumbandpretty: We are; I LITERALLY can’t remember the last real, non-ruined orgasm I had. I don’t know if my lack of orgasms (I should clarify here: I mean clitoral) has been beneficial to our anal-only efforts, but I don’t think it hurts, either.

Message: Adverse Effects From Being Anal Only?

Anonymous: How long have you been anal only? And have you begun to notice any physiological change, is your ass looser, more pliant and more willing now? I ask because my wife has the most luxurious ass and while we’re not anal only we are using it more and more and almost always finish in it. She’s eager to know if she’s going to feel any change as we become more focused on using her ass.

dumbandpretty: We’ve been anal-only off and on for a while now. I can’t say how long exactly, but long enough–I think–that any averse affects would have manifested themselves in some form or another by now. My ass isn’t looser; however, I have noticed the muscles there relax easier now, so penetration is less difficult and more pleasurable for me. My husband says its like making love to a woman who knows how to pleasure a man, vis-a-vis using muscle contractions, so I can only assume that means it doesn’t feel ‘looser’ for him. I can’t recommend anal-only enough. If you can get past the initial discomfort, the orgasms are far superior to anything you’ll get from vaginal sex alone, and the intimacy can’t be beat.

Message: Wife Resistant to Anal

assluver79: So, I’ve been trying to do anal with my wife of 10 years yet she’s so far been resistant to my efforts. I’ve toyed with the idea of letting her play with mine if it would open her up to the idea. Is this a good idea or should I just keep trying to gently persuade her?

Some women are sometimes open to that idea, while others are not. Communication is your best bet. Talk to her about it. Without being pushy, bring up the idea of anal again while making it clear you know she’s been opposed to anal in the past and you don’t want to make her feel obligated if it isn’t something she wants, but talk with her about why she might be hesitant to try it. There are solutions to most fears and concerns about anal, and some common fears are myths.

Message: Strict Anal Only Orgasm as a Gay Male

Anonymous: I am a gay male, so you’d think anal only would be an automatic right? Not so much. My boyfriend and I would like to get me to the point of where I can cum strictly from being penetrated without any touching on my cock. Any suggestions for helping to achieve this?

Learning to orgasm from anal seems to be a similar process for women and men both, and the main factors are practice and total denial of your normal means of stimulation while you’re trying. For some, that’s only a short term denial, while others will deny themselves any other stimulation or orgasms for a period of days or longer before trying each time so they’re particularly aroused when trying to learn to orgasm anally.

Anal With New Boyfriend Hurts So Bad It’s Unbearable

brutalbuttfucking: Yes, even me, is having an issue with anal. I need some advice. I have a new boyfriend but every time he sticks it in my ass it hurts so bad it’s unbearable! I’ve had him try going in slower, and wetter, but it just hurts too bad every time. What can I do? Message me or respond to this if possible.

Are you warming up before? The butt is a muscle, and you’ve got to gradually stretch/warm up before you exercise it, or it’ll hurt. Start with something smaller that doesn’t hurt, then work up through sizes of toys or combinations of fingers until you’re at or near the size of your boyfriend’s penis and then you should be ready for it. Wearing a butt plug for a while before can help a lot too.

Message: Never Had a Pussy Anywhere Near As Good As An Ass

Anonymous: In order of preference I prefer anal, then oral, then finally vaginal. I’ve never had a pussy that was anywhere near as good as an ass. Whats the best way to explain this to a girlfriend to avoid any hurt feelings and so that maybe, just maybe, I can get her thinking about the possibility of anal only?

It depends how important it is to you. If you are unwilling to have vaginal sex, you should say so up front as soon as you’re at the point in the dating process that you would start having sex. Don’t be pushy or harsh about it in any way, just say that you know not everyone is into this, and you totally understand if she isn’t, but that you’re only interested in anal and oral sex and not in vaginal.

If you’re willing to have vaginal but would like to shift to anal only at some point, it can be better sometimes to approach that gradually. Slowly incorporate anal play and sex if she’s willing, and make it as pleasurable for her as you can. Keep shifting the balance slowly until you have more anal than vaginal, talk often about how much you love her ass and having anal sex with her, compliment her and make her feel appreciated often, and always try to give her an orgasm when she has something in her ass. For some, things just shift naturally to anal only, while others then start talking about it more explicitly and make the decision to actively try it for a while.

Message: I Want To Try Anal, But My Boyfriend Isn’t Into It

Anonymous: Anal is painful for me and i have never had sex. But, I want to try it because it does feel good with clitoral stimulation. However, my boyfriend isn’t into anal. I don’t know if I can go completely to the anal-only lifestyle, but I at least want to get it somewhere in the bedroom. So, 2 questions. 1, how do I get it to feel as good without it feeling uncomfortable or painful? 2. How do I get just a little bit in my sex/masturbation life when my boyfriend isn’t into it?

Anal shouldn’t be painful. If it is, you should be training more at smaller sizes. Is it always painful or just with certain sizes? Start with just a single lubed finger while playing with your clit and work up from there in size as you feel ready, at first by adding one finger at a time, then with a butt plug and/or dildo while playing with your clit.

As for your boyfriend, either talk with him and see if he’s willing to have anal some of the time, or else incorporate it by wearing butt plugs during other sexual activities with him.

Message: Trying Again

Anonymous: Hello! So anal only August was a bit of a fail for me and my Master… We both got very busy so I didn’t achieve the gape we were both aiming for by the end of the month 🙁 but I am determined to try again! I am currently sitting here plugged with no intention of taking it out until bed time 🙂 if I stay committed, I can achieve the gape we BOTH want!!!

Glad to hear you’re sticking with it. It’s a process, and it’s not at all uncommon to drop it and come back later to try again.