“Isn’t there a butt plug on its way to your apartment? That should be fun!” The woman sitting at the table next to me waited expectantly for her friend’s response. I had to stop myself from whipping my head in their direction at a whiplash-inducing speed, but my ears still perked up. We were at a cafe, and their conversation was steering into some very, well, touchy territory. “Yeah, there is,” her friend said. “What do I do with it? Should I use it first, then have anal?” She turned to the third woman at the table, then asked, “What do you think? Don’t you do anal all the time?” Whoa.
Month: February 2015
Anonymous: No oral? No tit fucking? What if we want to have children?
analk1ng: Seriously, are you trying to put oral and tit fucking in the same league as anal sex? Are you out of your mind?
Obviously, if you want children you’ll have to go the traditional route. I warn you – it won’t be nearly as much fun though!
“Anal only” has become common catchphrase for this lifestyle, but what really mean is “no pussy”. Individual people may choose to include or exclude various sex acts but only vaginal sex is “prohibited” to be considered anal only.
People who practice anal only consider reproduction to be the only function of vaginal sex, so most will do that if they want to have children, but all recreational sex remains anal, oral, etc.
Anonymous: Anon female from 12/12 here again. So I decided to test the waters and see how anal only would work for us. He was very sure that’s what he wanted but I wanted to see if he’d just work it out of his system. So, it’s not been that bad, finding I don’t think about vaginal as much as I expected. However, even though I always enjoy the sex and the huge Os, his needs are greater than mine. Despite lots of lube I’m sometimes a little sore back there after. Does this ever settle down? Or must I quit?
There are different kinds of soreness. A low level soreness like after a workout is not entirely uncommon for many people from either vaginal or anal sex. But if it’s more of a stinging or burning pain like from a minor tear or abrasion or a strained muscle, it may be that you haven’t warmed up enough before. To a certain extent this can be more common when starting out, but it is still good even when more experienced to warm up before sex to loosen/relax the muscles in advance.
The use of a butt plug before sex, and even when not having sex, can be excellent to help train the muscles and develop more conscious control to loosen at will. Working up from one finger to several before sex can also be a good warmup.
To fully answer your question: unpleasant soreness from regular anal is not something that you are destined to continue experiencing. Ideally it shouldn’t be happening at all, and if it is, you need to warm up more or do some more anal play in between having sex. Lube is important, but so are other forms of preparation. And the more you do it, more consistently you keep up an anal routine, the less you’ll experience any soreness or discomfort.
I’m glad to hear that you’ve otherwise been having a good time with anal only. It’s perhaps somewhat surprisingly not too uncommon to hear from women who find that they don’t really miss vaginal sex once they go anal only.
User prettypink on the Anal Only Lifestyle posts an update to her anal only relationship after over a year:
The “new guy” (hereafter referred to as NG) has moved in and is now a permanent fixture. We’re both still committed to the anal only relationship, which has worked for us both so far. Most abstinence is hard going: Think foods you like. Well it’s not like that. I don’t feel like I’ve given up anything. Nor does NG, and I’ve made it quite clear to him that at any time he may resume vaginal sex should he wish. However, for the moment he remains as passionate as ever about my rear end.
This is a perfect example for those who cannot understand why someone would want to deny themselves vaginal sex—to people who really prefer anal and want anal only, it’s not a denial, it’s sex finally being what it’s supposed to be for them.
texanchik: There are some people that tell me they’ve never tried or will never try anal… I can’t even imagine my life without it…that would just be so, sad
Anonymous: Straight, currently single guy here who’s never tried anal. All the anal porn I’ve seen, especially all the anal only stuff on tumblr has got me interested. I’d really like to try with the next girl. It looks like it could be really good, but is it true that it feels much better than PIV like people say? How does it work, like do most men find they don’t want pussy after or is that not a worry?
Different people like different things. Some men prefer anal, some prefer vaginal, and some enjoy both. Different women’s anuses and vaginas also differ from those of other women. In some cases, yes, a man may have anal sex and find that it’s so much better for him that he is unsatisfied with vaginal after experiencing what anal is like. But that is not universally the case. Try everything and see what you enjoy.
Anonymous: My girlfriend recently took a dbl headed dildo about 13 inches up her ass for the first time and now she is curious to learn more about deep anal any tips?
If you enter the sigmoid colon, you may want to do a deep enema first. While the rectum usually stays fairly clean and empty, the colon does not. Frequent deep enemas, however, are not a good idea. You also want to go very slowly and use a very flexible toy when going deep, to go around the sharp bends without causing injury. You’ll usually encounter a lot of resistance initially but by slowly working the dildo around it will usually suddenly pop through and open things up, allowing you to go even deeper.
If you reach a point where it becomes uncomfortable, back the dildo out and then push it up to the point of discomfort again, repeating until you can get it deeper without that discomfort. Take it slow. Don’t force anything. Don’t do anything that is beyond discomfort—just keep edging up on that discomfort and pushing it further and further back as you warm up and are able to go deeper without the discomfort getting in the way.
Anonymous: My wife and I will probably never be anal only, but the thoughtful and helpful suggestions you’ve given through this blog has allowed us to incorporate anal into our love life on a consistent basis! It has improved our lovemaking and made for an overall more intimate and caring experience. We may even try No Pussy November!
I’m glad to hear it! Most who enjoy and practice anal sex find it to be more intimate, it seems. And you never know, once you try going anal only for a while, you might find that there isn’t as much keeping you doing vaginal as you thought!
From a recent discussion on Reddit about anal vs vaginal sex:
Female here. I have a preference for anal sex over vaginal sex. I would say that I have anal sex more often than PIV.
I am rather submissive and kinky so it fits right in. Anal sex is so intense, that it makes being in the mental state to orgasm possible. I also really like doggy style, as does my SO.
With anal sex, my SO doesn’t have to pound my cervix.
Entering my vagina does not have the initial overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation as entering the backdoor. After the barrier has been breached, I immediately start in to the “Oh my God, Oh my God… oh my FUCKING gods” frequently interrupted by uncontrollable moaning.
My SO was never really into anal sex but decided to try it once. I was never particularly into anal sex until we tried it. He was hooked after he saw how much more expressive and animated during anal, as am I.
Messiness or accidents have never been a problem and I have lots of anal sex.
Only a few years ago such admissions would not have been made; now many women are comfortable enough with their own sexuality to speak the truth about what is a very common preference for both men and women. And as they speak out, even more are encouraged to either experiment for themselves or share their own love of anal. Suppression and self censorship are never good for the individual or society as a whole.
Anonymous: plz tell me can a virgin get an anal orgasm– and squirt ? how is that ?
It is certainly possible for someone who has not had sex with a partner to orgasm from anal masturbation and to squirt. Everyone is different, however, and different people may need to approach it differently.
Some prefer to masturbate clitorally while incorporating anal stimulation at the same time to “transfer” some of the pleasure mentally to the anal stimulation and get to the point where you can get that pleasure entirely through anal. Others prefer to cease all vaginal and clitoral stimulation, at least for a time, to focus entirely on anal stimulation as their source of sexual pleasure.
There’s no reason someone can’t try both approaches and see which works best for them.