I’ve read your questions regarding your boyfriends request to go anal only with you and felt compelled to also give my own response, for what it’s worth…

You say  you are looking for reasons to feel positive. I think this is positive in itself as you’ve not turned him down out of hand but are seeking out answers to all these questions that have naturally arisen.

I really believe the first reaction from women is surprise. They’ve not heard of such a lifestyle, have been unfairly and unjustly primed to feel negatively, and to question their femininity. Rest assured he cares for you just as much as ever. He doesn’t dislike your vagina, instead he simply feels very passionate about your ass! The truth is, if you can accept it, that a large proportion of men need to express sex and love anally. It’s normal, and far from any rejection it’s a healthy sign of how much he desires you!

Think about the bold and brave step he has taken by approaching you with this. He’s reaching out to you. I don’t think that can ever be easy. Given that, I feel that you owe him a chance at least. In your own words you claim to be slightly sub and have strong O’s through anal. Even better! You have a good chance of making this work, and after a few weeks when you gotten used to regular anal sex you’ll probably be able to then focus on the positive aspects. Increased intimacy for one, and as he’ll no longer be faking desire and finally be having the sex he likes your relationship will grow even stronger.

But be prepared to be patient and give this a real chance. You may not know straight away and you don’t have to commit to anything. Think very carefully and ask yourself, is your vagina really essential to a happy sex life? Honestly? What would you miss by being anal only and weigh that against what you’d both gain. Keep that open mind as there is no one right way to have sex as part of a loving couple.

Anonymous: Anon female from 12/12 here. TY for feedback. I only ask as most of the information here is practical stuff, not why men are so motivated. Trying to keep an open mind, as he says being strictly anal will become easier and he keeps saying it will be better for both of us. He also says its normal and many couples are now doing this. It’s true I have strong orgasms with anal, but I’m not so sure yet. Perhaps I could give it a trial run as you suggest. Just need reasons to feel positive.

While it’s certainly not extremely widespread, it is becoming more common—or at least, more people are being open about it—in recent years. The majority do it for mutual advantage: they both get pleasure from it, and may enjoy the kinkiness aspect of being anal only as well. For me personally it is both a physical preference for anal sex and the appeal of the kink of a woman choosing to exclude her vagina from sex and just use her ass and mouth instead. That’s a huge turn on for me, but a major part of that is that it’s what the woman truly wants.

At the beginning, of course, no one knows whether they want it or not, because they haven’t experienced it yet. That’s what the trial periods are for—experimenting and seeing what you think. If you end up liking it, great. If not, you gave it a fair shot and might revisit it again in the future to see if you change your mind, or just decide it’s not for you and move on.

Hi, its great i found this site, because thought i’m only this kind. Ok, so here’s my story. Since my young days i felt sex is gross. I wasn’t keen in masturbation, actually haven’t tried it yet. Was a good girl. But one day when i was 23, i got little bit drunk and one of mine friends tricked me into pure anal stimulation. I din’t want him to stimulate my clitoris or vagina, because i was to shy, than he said: can i at least show you what your ass is worth? I was feeling there’s nothing gross, i don’t know why. So he did it with his finger. I felt it good. Later on i’ve had anal sex with some experienced guy. After few years of having anal time to time, i have felt my first orgasm. I’m 28 now, maybe i will have vaginal some day, but i think anal is the least stressful way for a girl to get comfortable with her intimacy.

Thanks for sharing your story! Starting with anal is a great way to go, I agree—no need to worry about hangups over pregnancy risk or keeping one’s vaginal virginity, and you can instead go straight to incredible pleasure and intimacy. There’s really no reason to ever bother with vaginal at this point, I would say, except for if you ever want to have children. Vaginal is for procreation, anal is for recreation.

Anonymous: My boyfriend has shown me this blog. He has said this is what he would like us to do. I’ll confess that though I am a little on the sub side and thought I was quite experienced and worldly I had never even heard of this lifestyle. I also feel confused. I do want to make him happy but what led up to this? Is he bored of me? Is there something wrong with my pussy? Help me to understand what he’s going through and how he sees me as I always thought we had good sex until this.

It is very likely that his desire to do this is not because of any boredom with you, but because of an innate desire he personally has. That is how it is for many people who prefer anal or want to take part in the anal only lifestyle—they simply have a preference for anal sex. It’s not a choice, really, it’s just what some people are more attracted to and find themselves preferring.

There are also those who find the idea hot and would simply like to try it to see if the reality lives up to the fantasy. If you’re willing to entertain the idea, perhaps suggest that you do a trial run—maybe even more than one, spaced out over time. A week of anal only, then back to normal for a while, then another week sometime in the future, and maybe increasing the amount of time you go anal only after a few sessions if you find yourself liking it.

However, you should not be going anal only unless you have experience with anal sex and are already comfortable having it as a regular part of your sex life. If not, the first step should be anal training, working towards painless anal sex, and exploring anal pleasure and the ways to orgasm from anal.

Anonymous: My wife and I have began to enjoy anal more frequently and we both enjoy going harder deeper and longer sessions which is even better, however I am relatively big (about 9 inches) and I find lately some sessions when I’m fucking her really hard in the ass have resulted in a little mess in the end which is a big big turn off. Not sure if this is because she is too relaxed, I’m going too deep or just normal? We have tried douching a couple of times but I think we might be doing it wrong?

Well, you should always be prepared for a mess even if there are things you can do to mitigate the risk. It comes with the territory.

With a healthy, high-fiber diet, the rectum should be empty virtually all the time except immediately before needing to go to the bathroom. However, the average rectum is between 4 and 6 inches in length (some are shorter, some are longer), and beyond the rectum you’re far more likely to encounter feces. So avoiding going too deep is one option.

Douching is usually only going to clean out the rectum itself. You’ll often need the larger volume of water from something like an enema to clean more deeply, but it’s not recommended to do full enemas too frequently.

Anonymous: I’m a young man. After months of fantasizing, I finally had anal sex with a new girl I am seeing. It was awesome and I loved everything about it. The sight of her anus, the smell, the noises, the smooth texture. My dick went easily in with no artificial lube, only pussy juices. I really had a strong feeling that this is the way I’m supposed to have sex, that this is the way I’m built and what constitites my sexual identity. So I thought I’d share my pleasant experience with you 🙂

Thanks for sharing. It’s quite common to get that feeling from anal sex, the realization that this is the ideal form of sex and that vaginal is completely unnecessary when anal is always an option instead.

mysubmissionjournal: Recently, as I’ve been scrolling through tumblr and reading various blogs, a popular topic I’ve been coming across is “Anal Only” training in conjunction with Orgasm Denial. More often than not, I’m not a particular fan of the tone and perspective of the posts and blogs, but I do find myself intrigued by it a lot. It wasn’t something my Dom and I ever stated clearly, that I was going to be “Anal Only” but we’ve also gotten to that point in our own organic way. So as much as I disagree with some of the phrasing I’ve read, I’m finding it very inspiring and exciting that other couples have found there way to this point too.

I guess I really don’t like how it’s presented that the submissive female needs to be brow beaten and forced into the role. I mean, I get it, my Dom has definitely been assertive at times when trying to establish aspects of our relationship and training but I think a lot of the Dom’s that I’ve read lose sight of how hot and exhilarating it is because we, the submissive females, end up wanting it. Also, once you’ve gotten to that point, you can be more forceful about getting whatever it is you want since you’ll know it’s a place we like to go. I know for my Dom that’s one of his favorite and most rewarding parts of our D/s relationship, the constant relationship building, evolution, and insatiable desire to go a little further we both feel.

The thing is, I agree with a lot of what they’re saying. I don’t necessarily want to, but looking at my own life and relationship with my Dom, it’s pretty much impossible to deny it. There’s just something about anal sex and getting fucked in the ass that’s inherently wrong and demoralizing, but in a good way. It’s such a release allowing yourself to go there, be used like that, and allow it to happen. I can’t explain it completely, but I love it. Living this double life, having virtually everyone in my life so completely unaware of the things I do and enjoy. I love orgasming and that release, but I love the torment and teasing even more. I just do. I love our little (big) secret and I love the trust and bond we have. As I am his submissive, I feel freer than I ever have before.

So, to bring it all back around to my point, I understand everyone comes on here for their own reasons. Obviously there are thousands if not millions of different kinks on here, but I guess I’m just hoping people keep it constructive. Some people’s fantasies of domination may very well include the women having no choice, but just think about how hot it is when you bring her to the point of wanting it! I guess this turned into a rant of sorts but I wanted to get it off my chest and post about it so here it is! Enjoy!

Anonymous: my girlfriend really enjoys anal, we have more anal than vaginal, but i don’t know how to ask her if she wants to becoming anal only. any advice?

Bring up how it’s becoming a thing that some couples are trying and ask if she’d be up for trying it for, say, a week to start. If she liked that week, try it again another time, maybe for the same amount of time or maybe for longer. Then see where it goes from there and if you both find yourself looking forward to the periods of anal only, suggest going full time.