Month: September 2014

Discussion of the Day: Anal and Incontinence

My boyfriend and I have tried anal sex a few times throughout our one year (and counting!) relationship. I currently work in the medical field as a CNA in a nursing home and I see almost everyday what bowel incontinence can do to a person’s dignity. My boyfriend enjoys anal sex and I do too (after a while of penetration). My question is, however, how often can a woman have anal sex before she becomes permanently incontinent? Please don’t judge! Thanks!

So what do people start doing? Judging.

ok honey listen. Use lube. and i mean use it. secondly only do it as a special treat not all the time.

also, arent you a little young for anal? whats wrong with vaginal sex at your age.

Starts out a bit patronizing, then makes a valid point (lots of lube is always good)… and then promptly goes off the deep end. There’s no reason to do it only as a special treat. If both partners love anal, do it as often as you want it.

Then the idiotic suggestion that a woman in her early 20s is too young to be trying anal sex and she should just be happy with her vagina at that age. Come on. Not everyone likes vaginal sex as much as anal, regardless of their age. Age has nothing to do with it. Your body and preferences does.

Finally, no one really gave a true answer. And the answer is this: safely practiced anal sex with proper warmup and lubrication, even daily anal sex with the exclusion of vaginal sex, does not cause incontinence, prolapse, fissures, hemorrhoids, or any sort of permanently loose, gaping hole. The sphincter is a muscle, and anal sex exercises it and gives you more tone and control. People who have regular anal sex have better anal control than those who don’t. You can also do kegel exercises to strengthen those muscles even further.

There are some people who have preexisting conditions that make them more susceptible to the aforementioned issues, and anal sex can aggravate or trigger the issues for those people—but so can a lot of other things. There are people who get anal fissures, hemorrhoids and prolapse simply from sitting on a toilet seat and going to the bathroom. In some cases, anal training and sex has helped people with hemorrhoids and fissures because excessive anal tightness made things worse for them.

Article of the Day: The Case for Anal Sex

From the fantastic blog that started the entire Anal Only movement:

I am of the belief that the benefits of anal sex make it better than vaginal sex for pure pleasure and intimacy.

  1. Anal sex provides better orgasms for both partners. There’s little denying the tightness of the anus provides more stimulation for the penis, providing more intense orgasms for the male. Most females I’ve talked to that say they enjoy anal sex (in other words, they gave it a chance and didn’t have a guy who just jammed it in there) say they have more intense orgasms during anal sex then vaginal. There are many women who even prefer anal sex to vaginal for this reason.
  2. Anal sex is more intimate. Let’s face it, there really needs trust and intimacy in a relationship for anal sex. My wife and I reached a new level of intimacy when we started having anal sex. It was something that we alone shared, and our “dirty little secret”. Unlike vaginal sex which is also practiced for procreation, anal sex is only practiced for the pleasure of the participants. That, in and of itself, builds trust and intimacy. Both partners can concentrate fully on the pleasure (both received and given) during the act of anal sex.
  3. Anal sex is a great form of natural birth control. Yes, I’ve read the study that states anal sex has an 8% failure rate as a form of birth control. The same study stated condoms had an 11% failure rate. The study took into account those who said their primary form of birth control was anal sex, but then had vaginal sex. Therefore, anal sex would have a much lower failure rate if properly practiced. As well, the study says pregnancy may result from “seepage”. Common sense would dictate that you not allow that to happen. As well, semen that is deposited deep in the rectum should be beyond the rectal valves. Unless the woman is on top of the man when he withdraws his penis, the semen should stay in the anus. As well, women must remember to wipe front to back for sanitary reasons, as well as birth control.
  4. Anal sex may provide health benefits for the female recipient. Several studies have suggested the positive health effects of semen on women, such as feeling happier and more content. These studies were, one would assume, based on those having vaginal intercourse. As the rectal lining is thinner then that of the vagina, it is better able to absorb those bodies the produce the positive effects, making anal sex the superior method for delivering these benefits.

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Discussion of the Day: Why doesn’t he want to do anal anymore? Is it me?

A bit of a reversal of the typical questions people ask about anal with a partner.

Boyfriend and I have been dating two years, a while ago he asked me to try anal with him so i did. He liked the thought of it and it was something he always wanted to try. After we tried it he lost all desire to do it… which stinks cause i really enjoyed it. He avoids anal at all costs and i don’t know what to do. Why doesn’t he want to do it anymore? is it me? I’ve been with my first boyfriend for around 3 months now and feel like its a doomed relationship. help someone..

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Message: Do Women Prefer Cum Inside Their Ass?

Anonymous: Do do women like it better when you cum inside their ass or out? Your opinion please.

There is no universal guide to what women like. Some women love it when their partner cums inside their ass, because they can feel the pulsing of the ejaculation and the warmth of his cum even better than vaginally (or because they’re unwilling to do it vaginally). Others hate it, because they either dislike the feeling or don’t want to have to clean it out after.

Suggestions To Get Ass Fucked More Regularly?

Anonymous: I hate to bug you, but do you have any suggestions for how to get my Daddy to fuck my ass more regularly? I’ve asked him, he knows I love taking it in the ass, and how wet it gets me when he holds me down and fucks me there after whipping me with his belt. But he doesn’t do it often and I wish he would. Taking his cock in my ass makes me feel like I’m his property to do with as he pleases. Any suggestions?

on-your-knees-where-you-belong: Wow aren’t you just every ass fuckers wet dream. You could always try begging. I find it very difficult to resist my kittens begging. She’s just too damn cute when she does it. Maybe sit down and right him a letter telling him all the reasons you think you deserve to be fucked in the ass more? I can’t remember where but I’m pretty sure there’s a blog which is all about anal only girls. You’ll probably find some inspiration there. I’ll try and find it and edit this post with it.

Daddy xx

P.s. nobody is ever bothering me if they just want to ask for advice 🙂

Found it! I think this will be right up your street!

Message: Making It Clear My Vagina Is Off Limits

Anonymous: I’m in college, and I’m a virgin. The idea of vaginal sex doesn’t appeal to me at all and I’m only turned on by the idea of anal sex. I want to stay a vaginal virgin and make it clear that my vagina is OFF LIMITS. Do you have any suggestions?

The number one approach to this should be communication. This can be tricky with a new partner, however, because while some guys will be totally okay with you wanting anal only, others will be scared off or become uninterested. There are, unfortunately, plenty of guys out there who don’t respect what their partner wants or think that they can convince you over time to want to try vaginal sex after being anal only for a while. (The same thing happens with girls who are vaginal only and have partners who want to try anal.) It’s important to stand anyone who tries to push you to do things you don’t want to do. If you want to be anal only, make it clear and insist that any partners respect your choices.

In the meantime, if you haven’t already, you should start practicing and training your ass with your fingers, dildos and butt plugs. You want to make it so that you can easily get fucked in the ass so it’s a viable alternative to vaginal for a partner. If it’s something you can easily do and make simple and enjoyable, partners may be much more willing to go along with it.

You can also give nonverbal hints by wearing a butt plug when you’re ready to have sex with someone and tell them you only want anal. The sight of your plugged ass might turn them on further and make them more open to the idea.

Tape over your pussy to block access or “ANAL ONLY” written over it are possibilities as well.

Message: I Want To Try Anal With My Friend

ownherhardxxx: i wanted to ask in the event that you’re a male who has a good female friend, and you want to go about trying anal with them, what would you say is the best way to bring it up? theres a girl i know who is as good as they get and weve been friends for a while, fucking whenever were in each others company. id love to try anal with her but im quite nervous how i should go about it.

You could always just ask if you can rub or finger her asshole during sex or oral. Or depending how close you are and how open-minded she is, you may be able to just try external rubbing (with a wet/lubricated finger) and see how she reacts. (Do not attempt any sort of anal penetration without asking first.)

If she likes it, you can go from there. I’ve talked multiple times here and on my other blog about the process of anal training to work up over a period of time to where she’s ready for you to actually penetrate her with your penis—never just shove it in and think it will work, she needs to gradually work up in size with a variety of different sized objects first.