If you’re feeling like one day you woke up and suddenly it was all about anal, you’re not alone. The question is, can women enjoy anal sex? Thankfully, the answer is yes! Many women love it and even prefer it to vaginal sex, experiencing more intense, full body orgasms with anal. Anal sex is not for everyone but if you have tried it once, maybe twice before, with painful results, you may not have taken the full necessary measures to prepare the body. So how do you learn how to have anal sex properly and get some of that pleasure for yourself?
Month: July 2014
A self-described sex specialist posted the following on her blog, claiming to be correcting misconceptions men have about anal from viewing porn—unfortunately, her corrections are full of misconceptions:
boys like anal because of what they see in porn…
the assumption that its going to feel better because its tighter..
this is exactly how porn is misleading.. men who know how to satisfy a woman and have experienced making a woman orgasm usually do not even like anal. not only can a woman not orgasm from it, there is also no natural lubriation, or pulsing contractions (like there are in the vagina). Anal is also less intimate and is missing the gratification from arousing a woman (comparatively speaking)
While not all women can orgasm from anal penetration alone, many can, because the clitoris and g-spot can be stimulated anally—in many cases, better than it can vaginally. Furthermore, if you externally stimulate the clitoris while being anally penetrated, the anal penetration often amplifies the sensations from your clit. So while some will require more than just anal penetration, the anal penetration does often make it more pleasurable.
Natural lubrication is wildly overrated. All you need is a bottle of lube and a few seconds to a minute to apply it. A total non-issue. Plenty of women need lube for vaginal sex as well.
No pulsing contractions? Clearly not someone with a lot of experience with anal sex, because any such contractions felt vaginally are even more powerful anally. Anal muscles are incredible, and the pulsing contractions when she orgasms while you’re inside her ass are just about the best thing ever.
Anal is more intimate than vaginal sex, if you do it right. There are plenty of anal only couples who make love anally and find it to be far more intimate than vaginal sex. Anal is something special, far more special than vaginal.
Anonymous: What is it about vaginal sex that just doesnt thrill you? Is it more a mental thing? Like, anal is better cuz its a little more taboo than vaginal? (Not really anymore, but you know what I mean.) Or do you feel like you just dont have a lot of vaginal sensitivity? I find it so interesting that we all have the same basic parts, but every single person is experiencing something completely different with them.
princesspoutypantzz: Butt sex feels better. End of story.
analsexonly: So, given your obvious enjoyment of sex of the butt variety, what’s your opinion on going anal only? Something you largely already do or have done, something that interests you and which you’d consider trying with the right person, something that you enjoy as a fantasy but not in reality, or do you enjoy vaginal enough as well that you wouldn’t want to give it up? Just curious—I like talking to other anal lovers about such things.
princesspoutypantzz: Honestly I would give up vaginal sex if I was in a committed relationship. But not every guy I encounter likes anal sex. (Weird I know) also it’s hard to give if up all together with filming porn. Most start out in the vagina then leads to the ass. It is one of my biggest fantasies to not use my vagina ever again but I don’t think that will ever happen though.
wet-n-wild-in-cali: I’ve lived most my life in a lesbian relationship. I’ve never had a man in ANY way. Lately though, had a lot of fantasies about trying anal, either with another woman and strap-ons or maybe even with a man. I’ve had toys in my ass in the past which were sometimes okay but rarely really pleasurable (often hurt) and sometimes fingers there while enjoying clitoral stim and the two lead to really intense orgasms. What advice toward preparing myself, making it more enjoyable? Too I have hemorrhoids.
Start with what’s been pleasurable for you in the past: it’s not at all uncommon to need clit stimulation along with anal to make it pleasurable, so be sure to include lots of that whenever you experiment anally. Start with well-lubricated fingers for a while, incorporating anal play at whatever level is comfortable for you when otherwise masturbating. Gradually increase the number of fingers you can comfortably fit. Everyone needs to go at a different pace when increasing size, so you’ll just have to see what works for you.
Work up in size until you can fit a medium size butt plug (1″ to 1.5″ in diameter, perhaps). These can be great for improving muscle control and temporarily loosening up before doing something else, plus they just help you get used to the feeling of having something filling you anally. They’re great to wear while masturbating or during other sexual activities, and they also can be worn while doing other things in preparation for planned anal masturbation or sex.
I’m not too familiar personally with anal sex with hemorrhoids, though I do know some people seem to think that careful anal masturbation and sex has actually helped reduce them—I have no idea if this is true, however. I presume the presence of hemorrhoids can add to potential pain. Usually, my advice is that if you are experiencing pain during anal penetration you’re either not using enough lube or you’re trying to go too fast with something you’re not yet ready to fit. With hemorrhoids, however, it may simply be that they’re causing the pain. I suspect the advice of taking things slowly so as to reduce or eliminate pain would still apply in the same way, but with perhaps a different mechanism triggering pain.
Careful experimentation is the key with anal. And lube.
Anonymous: Every day after I’ve had anal sex with my bf (we’re not AO… yet!), I feel slightly sore. But in a very pleasant way! It always makes me horny to have a small reminder of how hard he fucked me, when I’m at work. Physically speaking, that’s not something I should worry about, right?
Not at all! Slight soreness the day after, like after a workout, is pretty normal.
When ever I am with my girlfriend and we are having sex I go straight for the bum, its seems I have no interest for the vagina just the bum, does these mean I am gay? I mean im not attracted to men but im am literally an anal sex addict! I really need your help guys so please help.
Fortunately, everyone in this comment thread is pretty reasonable and reassures him that this is totally normal and not gay.
haydenhellfire: I can only watch anal porn, everything else bores me.
You’re certainly not alone there. If we had public statistics on porn site user viewing activity, I suspect it would show that most people skip over the vaginal scenes at the beginning of a movie to the anal that takes up the majority of many movies.
And now of course there are a lot of porn movies that are anal only. Not enough yet, and most are European, but there’s a growing amount of American anal only porn being made now too.
A woman asks why her husband only wants anal sex and loses his erection when having vaginal sex with her:
Even when I beg, he would have anal sex first, get hard, and have doggy style for few seconds before he goes limp again.
Is it me? I don’t get it. Advise, please! I am so horny!
Reaction is mixed, with some making the idiotic and stereotypical “he’s gay” comments, but some good responses as well, indicating that some men simply prefer anal sex and that plenty of women do as well.
He’s not gay. Gay men are attracted to men, not anuses.
What’s with all of these “gay” comments? Ridiculous. Does it make a guy gay that he likes getting BJs from his gf/wife? Of course not. So why should engaging in anal sex be any different? I’m a woman and I vastly prefer anal sex, but my husband has a hangup against it. Such a shame. There is no explaining why I like it better. It just stirs something primal in me that vaginal sex doesn’t.
It all goes downhill from there, alas, with everyone else piling on and saying he’s guaranteed to be gay, because in their limited view of the world, the only reason a man would prefer fucking a woman’s ass instead of her pussy is because he secretly wants to be with men.
Anonymous: is it possible for a women to have orgasm without vaginal stimulation? if so how?… anal is really pleasurable for me but i cant reach orgasm through only anal, i have tried several times but even tho my ass is more used for sex than my vagina i just cant have orgasm with only anal, do you know anything that can help? (sorry for my bad english i speak french)
Yes, it is possible, but it can be difficult for some women. Everyone’s anatomy is different, and the internal structure of the clitoris and g-spot can be reached anally for many women, but not everyone, or not as easily at least.
In many cases, women trying to reach anal only orgasms have found that it help to be very horny and not touch their vagina at all for days or even longer, with no vaginal orgasms at all and just lots of anal to keep trying. This can be hard to do, because when you get really horny you want to touch yourself and make yourself orgasm. Direct that feeling into anal stimulation instead and resist the urge to touch your vagina or clit.
This may take a while, and you may try it for a few days and then go back to vaginal and clitoral stimulation for a while, then try again. This is fine, and actually better for gradually building up the self control to do this.
Ultimately, I think it’s good to experiment with this sort of thing and see if you can do it, but if it ends up after a while of experimenting to be too hard or frustrating, then there’s certainly nothing wrong with enjoying anal penetration and clitoral/vaginal stimulation at the same time.