Month: May 2014

Message: How to Prepare for Double Anal

Anonymous: I’ve read your post about dp. My boyfriend, his buddy and me want to try double anal. But it sounds dangerous. What should I consider and how do I properly prepare for it?

Presumably you already engage in anal sex regularly and can comfortably get fucked in the ass with a single dick. That’s an important first step. Then you should use a dildo larger than your boyfriend’s penis, but not yet twice the diameter. Work up to being able to comfortably fit that in, and then try either two penis-sized dildos or your boyfriend and a dildo. Have him fuck you for a few minutes until you’re loosened up a bit and then add more lube to the area around your anus, to his penis, and to the dildo, and press the dildo up against your anus either forward or backwards of his penis, gently increasing pressure until the head starts to pop inside. You should take things slowly here and stop if it really hurts, but otherwise keep slowly increasing the depth until it’s inside. Then have him continue fucking you, very slowly at first and increasing as you can take it.

Once you can do that for a while and have done so multiple times, consider trying double anal with two guys.

It’s no more dangerous than any other semi-large anal play: you can hurt yourself if you’re not careful, but if you take things slowly and work your way up to being able to fit that much inside it’s totally harmless.

Message: Best Lubrication for Anal Only Lifestyle

dragonstoutWhat do you think is better for a long term anal only lifestyle? using lubrication products like KY etc. vs. dry penetration with maybe spit and pre-cum and an actual load to the anus. Lol asking expert tier questions

Lube is clearly better, because in general, going without lube is going to cause damage and pain. Spit works fine as lube for some people, but isn’t going to work for everyone. But you’ve got to have some sort of lubrication for it to even work well. How much and what type varies from person to person.

Message: Ass Is For Pleasure, Vagina Is For Reproducing

Anonymous: The ass is for raw pleasure while the vagina is for reproducing an offspring. Even porn actress Kelly Wells has claimed this awesome fact!

Agreed, and while Kelly Wells has perhaps spoken out a bit more about it than others, there are a number of porn actresses who have similarly stated that anal is something that they greatly prefer even in real life. This isn’t always the case as well, and others say they like both or prefer vaginal. Not everyone loves anal, but out of those who do, there are some who find it much more pleasurable than vaginal and are totally happy to only have anal.

Message: Getting Pregnant When Anal Only

Anonymous: What do you do if you’re doing anal only and want to get pregnant?

This is something that’s going to vary wildly from person to person, but the general consensus seems to be that among people who prefer anal, attempts at procreation are the few times they might want to ever have vaginal sex.

If you consider that anal is for pleasure and intimacy and vaginal is for getting pregnant, that seems consistent with the anal only lifestyle.

Message: Anal Hurts After Not Doing It For a While

iputthecountercultureonmybackI’m very open to anal, I have tried it before and it felt great. Idk why but me and my boyfriend strayed away from it for a bit but we tried getting back into and it really hurt, any tips?

If you go without any anal play for an extended period of time, the sphincter tightens up again quite significantly and you may need to spend more time warming up before trying it again. Start out with fingers and toys, get relaxed, use lots of lube, etc. Then when that’s comfortable, try actual anal sex again—and even then go slow the first few times.

If it hurts, you just aren’t warmed up enough in that area or aren’t using enough lube.

Women’s Anal Sex More Common

A brief article on woman and anal sex.

A quote from the text:

As of the 1990s, only about one-quarter to one-third of young women and men in the U.S. had tried anal sex at least once. Less than 20 years later, my research team’s 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that as many as 40-45 percent of women and men in some age groups had tried anal sex. With its rising prevalence, I felt it was important to devote a chapter of my first book, “Because It Feels Good,” to anal health and pleasure

The evidence is building up. Source after source, study after study all show that anal sex is steadily becoming a normal, accepted and everyday part of women’s sex lives.

Message: Wife Says We Shouldn’t Do Anal Too Often

Anonymous: I think a woman looks more beautiful when being taken anally. There is something about it that feels very natural. I’d love to have mostly anal with my wife if I could but she say’s it is something we shouldn’t do too often. I sure wish I could change her mind because I’ve always felt like it is something “meant to be” between us. She even gets off better thru anal like I’ve heard others say. But she still finds reasons not to. Is our situation common do you think?

Why does she not want to do it too often? Is it because she prefers vaginal, because she thinks vaginal is the “proper” way to regularly have sex, or because she’s worried about health issues from frequent anal sex?

Message: Advice for Anal Virgin Wanting to Try

Anonymous: I’ve had sex with a lady friend of mine who is kinda naughty. Though only oral and vaginal. She is a scared anal virgin but willing to try. Next issue, she is on the fence about us filming ourselves. How can I make the anal and video happen

Those are entirely separate issues, and the latter is not within the subject this site focuses on. For trying anal, there are many guides out there on how to have anal for the first time. You and she should read through as many of them as you can find. The basics:

  1. Always use lots of lube. Lubricate both the anus and the object about to penetrate it.
  2. Use smaller objects before trying to penetrate her anus with your penis. Try a finger to start with, and slowly work up in size with multiple fingers as she is able.
  3. Go slowly. If anything hurts, she should immediately tell you and you should stop. If you stop in place for a moment, the pain or discomfort will usually fade as she gets accustomed to being filled with something that size. When she’s comfortable again, you can continue. Early on you may need to start and stop a lot, especially as you’re increasing the size.
  4. Don’t try penetrating her with your penis until she can comfortably fit an object (or several fingers) the diameter of your penis.
  5. When you do have actual anal sex for the first time, she should be on top so she can control the speed and angle of penetration.

Message: Not Interested In Vaginal Sex Anymore After Doing Anal

Anonymous: For the past few months I was having anal with my GF. Recently I realize that I’m no longer have any interest in vaginal sex. This feels me weird. Every time we ending up with anal and that is the part that I enjoy the most. She enjoys the anal as much as I do but she also enjoys the vaginal too. Why can’t I ? Is this normal ? Because I did not have this before we tried anal. I liked vaginal sex too, Now it is just a turn off for me. Is this normal?

It’s not uncommon, really. A lot of guys, after starting to have anal sex for the first time, realize they don’t actually care that much for vaginal anymore. Whether this is because they just end up liking the feeling of anal better, or they’re wired to prefer anal but don’t realize it until they try it and compare it to vaginal, I don’t know.

If you’re already ending sex with anal every time now, I’d say you’re doing pretty well. If vaginal sex does nothing for you, you could see if your girlfriend would be interested in trying occasional short periods of time where you just have anal with no vaginal before, or if you performed oral sex on her every time before anal. There are certainly ways to provide vaginal and clitoral stimulation without regular penetration. But she may love and want vaginal penetration as much as anal, and that is of course her right as well. Ultimately, you have to decide if you actively dislike vaginal or just don’t like it as much as anal.