Message: Wife Not Open to Anal
blazingmedic: Ok, I want to try anal but my wife is totally not open to it. What do I do?
You have to take things very, very slowly and talk with her and see if there’s anything she’s willing to do, as well as doing very small things like very lightly rubbing the outside of her anus with your thumb during oral or vaginal sex to see if she responds well. If she does like it and you keep doing it, it will help build a positive association of good feelings with that area. If she doesn’t want her anus touched at all, there isn’t much you can do. But if she does, you can then ask her if you can insert a finger sometimes during other sex, etc., and slowly progress from there. You want to go very slowly and only escalate to something more when she’s fully comfortable and willing. Always do it in conjunction with something she finds pleasurable.
You should never try inserting your penis until she can comfortably fit something else the same diameter after having worked up slowly to that size over some time. So if she’s hesitant to try you might frame it as wanting to introduce anal play into your sex life, with fingers and toys, but that actual anal sex with your penis would be off the table until she’s comfortable and confident enough to try it.
She may have other reasons to not want to try it, however, and if so you’ll have to talk with her to see what those reasons are.
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