Message: Interested In Going Anal Only, But Boyfriend Not Into Anal
Anonymous: I am a woman interested in going anal-only, but my bf is not really interested in anal. I use dildos and plugs to satisfy myself but I can’t see this working if he has no interest in anal. How can I make him more comfortable with it, and maybe even want it more than vaginal?
This is a hard one. Anal only is obviously only going to work if both of you want it.
The obvious starting point is have you discussed your desire and preference for anal with him?
Also, I’d say that it is a rare man that has no interest in anal. You should investigate this. It could be something simple such as a hang-up about anal being dirty or he’s worried about causing you harm. Perhaps give him something to read on the subject, as there are a number of good sources now on the internet that will dispel these concerns.
An immediate practical measure is to insist that at least you get to have anal half the time, by alternating with vaginal. Otherwise he is dictating the terms of your relationship, and that is not okay.
I’m confident that once anal sex becomes a routine part of your relationship then he will relax and start to appreciate it.