Month: January 2014

Weird to Only Have Anal? Boyfriend Wants Vaginal

A young woman at says:

I […] have been having sex with my bf for almost a year now. But I have only had anal sex with him, and only with a condom. (It did hurt at first, but now I really enjoy it.) My bf says it’s wierd that we only have anal, and wants to have vag

This is a clear indication that increasingly among women, anal is seen not as something strange but a valid form of sexual expression, equal to vaginal. Surprisingly it is often young men who have to catch up and adopt a more modern and enlightened outlook.

Sadly, most of the responses are badly informed and hark back to an era that should be forgotten. They assume it’s only temporary; she’s trying to preserve her virginity; she doesn’t want to get pregnant.

Sure, the last is a valid benefit, but most people choose anal over vaginal due to the increasing intimacy and sexual pleasure not for the above.

Quote of the Day: Anal is Like a Whole New World

I gradually started to really like it [anal], and if you stimulate your clit during and orgasm, its the best ever!! The orgasms are stronger, and it can feel amazing, there are so many nerves around there, and its all connected, and actually it seems to stimulate your other sexual organs aswell, it still feels very sexual, and I was surprised, I never imagined that,, its like a whole new world.


Message: Is Anal Only Going to Catch On?

Anonymous: This is such a great blog. I love anal and had it with most my partners and found many women just as keen to have anal as vaginal. With interest in anal at an all time high and so much of porn now devoted to anal do you think anal-only is going to catch on? I could happily just fuck ass and I’m sure I’m not alone.

I think it’s definitely going to keep growing and a lot of people are going to be totally open to going anal only. Porn’s focus on anal only has been expanding a lot lately, and I hope it keeps going that way where vaginal sex in porn is very rare to find. This will, in turn, encourage people further to try it for themselves and see what they’re missing.

Message: Anal Feels Like The Most Natural Thing In The World

Anonymous: My girlfriend and I have started doing anal. I really like it, in fact more than vag sex. The orgasms you get are explosive. I think she is maybe getting a feel for it too, just not as decided as me. The big surprise is how different her ass feels. I expected just a tighter vagina but it is so much more varied and complex than that. I can see why people consider doing anal only. After a dozen or so times it already feels like the most natural thing in the world. Is that strange or what?!

Not so strange—it’s one of the things that people discover when they start having anal sex enough. It’s unique, not just a tighter vagina, and for many it’s a much better sensation.

The Appeal of Anal as Subverting the Body’s Natural Function

A woman posts about how this appeals to her:

I am pretty much anal only… i just get so turned on thinking about him back there, instead of in front – the whole idea of excluding my pussy means its so wrong and dirty! and that turns me on hugely.

And another mentions a woman they know who think the same:

I was talking to someone about this recently and she was saying one of the most attractive things for her is the idea of subverting her body – and getting even more pleasure despite doing it the “wrong” way. Very thought-provoking, and very hot.


Boyfriend Loves Anal, But I Don’t

This age old problem is discussed at after a reader contacted the site for advice.

The way it usually goes is for the man to be very interested in anal, the women doesn’t understand, gets confused by the obsession and eventually gets angry. Sometimes the roles are reversed, but whichever way you end up with a collision of conflicting desires.

This case is no different to all the others:

No matter what we did I hated it. It was painful, not sexy, and generally just a bad time for me in every way. I told my boyfriend that I gave it a shot and am just not into it, so I guess it won’t be happening anymore.

What usually happens at this point is that the person who doesn’t like anal thinks that by making such a declaration that that is the end of the matter, and both can happily resume ‘normal’ vaginal sex and forget about the anal thing.

This is a great mistake. A person with an interest or preference for anal sex is not able to simply discard or forget this facet of their personality. And there is no reason that they are any more wrong to like anal than the other person is to dislike it.

The article concludes with:

As of right now you are dating a guy who really loves anal sex and you are a girl who really does not like anal sex, which you may not believe but makes you fundamentally incompatible.

This needs to be understood by everyone; you can either take steps to make it work or go your separate ways, but it is impossible to try to ignore the problem.

However, I would wager that in the above case (as with most) at the heart of the problem lies an error in their technique or approach. Perhaps they just didn’t give it long enough. Learning to enjoy anal takes time. Often several attempts over weeks or even months are required, but once a taste is acquired you’ll never look back.

Message: Uncomfortable After Anal

Anonymous: I’m a woman who enjoys anal sex, but often feel constipated and uncomfortable afterwards. Wouldn’t anal only exacerbate this? Is it necessary to have an enema every time (I’ve heard this is not healthy)?

It’s not necessary to have an enema every time, no—and you’re right, it’s not healthy to have enemas too frequently. As for feeling uncomfortable after, for some people this is just the sensation of something feeling different there and they get used to it over time. Anal doesn’t actually necessarily cause constipation (it can in certain circumstances for some people) so it’s often just a similar feeling. If you do it enough it may go away, and increasing the frequency can actually get you into a more consistent digestive cycle that coincides with your sexual routine.

Message: Interested In Going Anal Only, But Boyfriend Not Into Anal

Anonymous: I am a woman interested in going anal-only, but my bf is not really interested in anal. I use dildos and plugs to satisfy myself but I can’t see this working if he has no interest in anal. How can I make him more comfortable with it, and maybe even want it more than vaginal?

This is a hard one. Anal only is obviously only going to work if both of you want it.

The obvious starting point is have you discussed your desire and preference for anal with him?

Also, I’d say that it is a rare man that has no interest in anal. You should investigate this. It could be something simple such as a hang-up about anal being dirty or he’s worried about causing you harm. Perhaps give him something to read on the subject, as there are a number of good sources now on the internet that will dispel these concerns.

An immediate practical measure is to insist that at least you get to have anal half the time, by alternating with vaginal. Otherwise he is dictating the terms of your relationship, and that is not okay.

I’m confident that once anal sex becomes a routine part of your relationship then he will relax and start to appreciate it.

Message: First Orgasm From Anal So Intense

Anonymous: My boyfriend and I began having anal sex after trying it drunk one night. We still continue to have vaginal sex regularly and anal sex a couple times a month. I must say that the first orgasm was so intense from anal I went numb and soaked the sheets.

It sounds like anal is amazing for you. Are you considering shifting towards more anal and less vaginal as times goes on?