Message: Boyfriend Doesn’t Like Vaginal After Trying Anal

Anonymous: Since my boyfriend and I tried anal a few months back he’s been asking for it all the time and gets unhappy if I suggest vaginal instead. He used to like it. Why has he changed so quickly? Do you understand what’s going on? Is he wanting this “anal only lifestyle”? Because that seems where we’re headed and I feel uncomfortable about it.

It is likely that anal is what he prefers because it feels better for him. If anal with you was his first time doing it, he may have realized just then that he likes it better. If he’d had it before, he may have not brought it up because of the stigma that still exists around anal and definitely exists around preferring it.

Do you enjoy anal and simply want to also have vaginal as well, or do you dislike it? If you do like it, you should talk things over clearly with him and say you like and enjoy anal but you like vaginal as well and want both.

Either way, communication is mandatory in situations like this. You have to both be clear to each other what you want, and both compromise if there are some conflicting preferences. He may wish to be anal only, but that can only ever work if everyone involved wants it or is at least willing to give it a shot.

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