Many of the submissions to this blog are about about helping women make sense of their feelings about anal sex, and reassuring them that it can be positive and safe activity to enjoy with their husband or boyfriend.
But it is not only women who may need a little advice or boost to their confidence. The sad reality is that anal sex, even today, suffers from an undeserved negative image. And intolerant people will try to project their own bad feelings about it on to the rest of society. As such, there is often a lack of accurate information available.
We’ve seen many comments, here and elsewhere from men who question if they are normal. Men who have a preference for the anus over the vagina share this with countless other men around the world, and throughout history. For some it is the beauty of the anus over the vulva; for others the enhanced stimulation it offers. These are perfect normal and natural reactions, all part of human sexuality. So, despite what you may hear to the contrary, there is nothing to feel bad about. Also, the anus and rectum of a woman is perfectly formed and adapted to receive and stimulate the penis. In a number of respects it does this better than the vagina and undoubtedly provides more intense orgasms for the male.
Having decided on trying anal sex, it is usually much easier for the man, as he derives pleasure from it straight away. Not so for most women, as they are rarely so in tune with this part of their anatomy. And although they have been gifted with this wonderful alternative for sex with their partner, it can take time to get used to how different it feels. Initially she will find that she lacks the proper control of the sphincter muscles, which, once they adjust, grip a penis superbly while also allowing it to move freely. Usually any minor discomfort will ease over a few sessions.
Unfortunately, it is often at these early stages that a woman is more sensitive to an over enthusiastic partner, which can adversely affect her perception of anal love. But if you proceed with care, concentrating on her pleasure, you’ll find that in time her anus will be able to dilate to accept a penis just as readily as her vagina can. Don’t worry you haven’t caused any long-term harm – just like any other muscles in the body it simply benefits from regular use. In fact, her anus will be in better shape than ever which has positive health implications.
Soon you’ll both be aware of the heightened intimacy that anal sex brings to the relationship, which in turn relaxes you and makes you both more inclined to include it more often in your lovemaking.
As a man, it is understandable that once you begin to enjoy anal sex on a regular basis, you’ll find you prefer it and will begin to think about going anal only. This is something that only works in a long-term relationship were you both understand and are compatible with one another, and even then cannot be rushed. Certainly do not put the proposal to her directly as you may panic her or place her under to much pressure. Going anal only requires a gradual transition, over a long period so that it happens in an unforced way.
She may notice you loose interest in her vagina and loose confidence in herself – your job is to reassure her that she is loved and attractive. If you can convince her how special this is; how even more turned you are; how close you feel; then she will begin to feel good about herself.
Above all, make sure that she orgasms often during anal sex. This will probably require some stimulation of her clitoris, so you should choose positions where it is accessible to you or her. If she has an orgasm during anal sex it is guaranteed to be much stronger than any other she will have previously experienced. This is also in the interests of the man as he will feel the rhythmic contractions and pulsations of the anal canal and rectum as she climaxes.
As you slowly reduce the amount of vaginal sex, if everything is done right, she’ll not notice that she’s missing anything. Hopefully, the day will come when you can’t even remember when you last had vaginal sex.